Friday, January 8, 2010
Friday, December 18, 2009
I am thinking of changing blog/abandoning this blog or just not blog. But I don't think I will not blog because blogging and the writing and the whining has grown on me that it becomes almost impossible for me not to channel my useless energy and straying thoughts somewhere.
And honestly, I really have been kept busy (by fun) that I completely forgotten I have this thing here. And I only remember this when it's like 2 in the god damned morning and I am the only one awake in the whole house and my thoughts are racing with many different things. So now you know why I am here.
So just between you and me, I have this one person that I am genuinely mad at. Like, I am not really sure if I am mad or just obsessed on taking my revenge but either way, I always find this person at the back of my head all the time. And it annoys me silly that I just feel like ringing up this mofo and, and, urm, well you know... say shit and put down the phone.
Okay, honestly I don't know what I'll do for me to actually consider the act as revenge but I really really want to do something to this person so that this person just gets angry. Oh my god, I am a monster! Like okay no, it's not like revenge- I kill you kinda thing but its justlike revenge- you stupid mofo, I will be so much an irritant you wish you'd die.
Right, not much difference but the point is I just want to cause some degree of damage to this person because if you know me, I am that one person in the whole that just goes "fuck it all" and I don't let nothing get to me. And if this person manage to leave like an imprint on me, you know the shit is major!
I sincerely wish right that our paths crossed again in the future so that I can cause damage to this person and after that, I will just... probably just like do some nasty shit like urmmm, like you know nastay shiaat. No you don't know, neither do I.
I think I just want to win this thing. Like I always do. I am such a bitch.
And honestly, I really have been kept busy (by fun) that I completely forgotten I have this thing here. And I only remember this when it's like 2 in the god damned morning and I am the only one awake in the whole house and my thoughts are racing with many different things. So now you know why I am here.
So just between you and me, I have this one person that I am genuinely mad at. Like, I am not really sure if I am mad or just obsessed on taking my revenge but either way, I always find this person at the back of my head all the time. And it annoys me silly that I just feel like ringing up this mofo and, and, urm, well you know... say shit and put down the phone.
Okay, honestly I don't know what I'll do for me to actually consider the act as revenge but I really really want to do something to this person so that this person just gets angry. Oh my god, I am a monster! Like okay no, it's not like revenge- I kill you kinda thing but its justlike revenge- you stupid mofo, I will be so much an irritant you wish you'd die.
Right, not much difference but the point is I just want to cause some degree of damage to this person because if you know me, I am that one person in the whole that just goes "fuck it all" and I don't let nothing get to me. And if this person manage to leave like an imprint on me, you know the shit is major!
I sincerely wish right that our paths crossed again in the future so that I can cause damage to this person and after that, I will just... probably just like do some nasty shit like urmmm, like you know nastay shiaat. No you don't know, neither do I.
I think I just want to win this thing. Like I always do. I am such a bitch.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Omg omg omg. Please please forgive me. I am feeling very raw, very vulnerable right now. I am thinking of my past, my life right now and death.
See I told you, I am just too raw right now. You know, someone should just decide that it is illegal to drink coffee at night, listen to The Avett Brothers and have internet connection at the same time. It's almost like the perfect brew to exposing your bare soul to the whole virtual world and you know you're gonna regret it but you still go ahead and type it all out cause you seriously think you'll feel better when its out of your system.
Yeah like that. I am just going random lah. Fuck man, I want to live when hippie was the sex. I am just saying that becasue I am listening to "Go To Sleep" (rightfully so) and with open eyes, I see an array of colours, New York in the 70s-80s ish and I see beards.
I don't know man, I think if I ever get wasted, I'd probably see myself like this. Just that I would have lesser control of myself and I probably would do something even more dumb than writing incoherent paragraphs and putting it out there for people to read between the lines and realise what a real fucktard I am.
Are you still reading this? Wow, really, you must either be bored or you really love me a lot. I am actually scared of death. Like no, really, death and me just like whoa out of the way out of the way. Not really the fact that I am not alive that scares me; just that I am afraid I would not have done what I want to do since I was 5 and I probably would not have done more for people around me. Like fr instance, if I die, I think my mother would be beyond devastated; I know that because she is my best friend in the whole world whose vagina happened to be the one I came out from. And my mother gave me more in 18 years than I could possibly give back to her even if I live 6423 more lives. Like when I was 10, we climbed 5 storeys together to get to this class and I was waiting in line for my turn and my mother went off. Like 5 minutes later she came up with a packet of Milo for me to drink because I said I was tired after climbing. See, I cannot beat that kinda love and sacrifice.
Oh fuck what did I just type? Omg, I really need to find a way to control 2am Amalina cause she's spewing shiaat.
How th fck does someone gets drunk without drinking. I am so fckg gone now.
See I told you, I am just too raw right now. You know, someone should just decide that it is illegal to drink coffee at night, listen to The Avett Brothers and have internet connection at the same time. It's almost like the perfect brew to exposing your bare soul to the whole virtual world and you know you're gonna regret it but you still go ahead and type it all out cause you seriously think you'll feel better when its out of your system.
Yeah like that. I am just going random lah. Fuck man, I want to live when hippie was the sex. I am just saying that becasue I am listening to "Go To Sleep" (rightfully so) and with open eyes, I see an array of colours, New York in the 70s-80s ish and I see beards.
I don't know man, I think if I ever get wasted, I'd probably see myself like this. Just that I would have lesser control of myself and I probably would do something even more dumb than writing incoherent paragraphs and putting it out there for people to read between the lines and realise what a real fucktard I am.
Are you still reading this? Wow, really, you must either be bored or you really love me a lot. I am actually scared of death. Like no, really, death and me just like whoa out of the way out of the way. Not really the fact that I am not alive that scares me; just that I am afraid I would not have done what I want to do since I was 5 and I probably would not have done more for people around me. Like fr instance, if I die, I think my mother would be beyond devastated; I know that because she is my best friend in the whole world whose vagina happened to be the one I came out from. And my mother gave me more in 18 years than I could possibly give back to her even if I live 6423 more lives. Like when I was 10, we climbed 5 storeys together to get to this class and I was waiting in line for my turn and my mother went off. Like 5 minutes later she came up with a packet of Milo for me to drink because I said I was tired after climbing. See, I cannot beat that kinda love and sacrifice.
Oh fuck what did I just type? Omg, I really need to find a way to control 2am Amalina cause she's spewing shiaat.
How th fck does someone gets drunk without drinking. I am so fckg gone now.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I just calculated and the minimum amount of money I need to enrol in driving class, sit for the basic theory test and all that jazz is easily $2200.
And the whole time I did this was in my parents room and looking at this amount, I was like "holy shit, goodbye white land rover!". My dad asked how much it would cost him and when I told him, I was expecting _____________ (insert whatever my father has been saying all this time when i spent his money). But he said "okay, that's a lot of money but I already got it ready".
I was silent. And you know this is major cause I'm the pro at come-backs, I am the best at it in the whole wide world back and forth. But this time, I was like shit, I better start playing go-kart or thats over 2K wasted.
Pressure marnxxzz.
On a different story altogether, my father is so agreeable to me painting and refurnishing my own room after A levels. And I am all psyched and all, envisaging the possibilities that lie ahead, painted ceiling and walls, plasma tv on the wall, possibly a new dvd player and cable in my room and definitely this iPod thingy that I saw that doubles up as a charger, player and FM radio.
Pimp my room, hoes! HAHA
But honestly, between you and me, I think I would get too f lazy to move pass painting 1 wall. I'm too predictable la.
And I'm talking like A levels is a done deal like that. One more paper but I can already taste the sweet taste of freedom!
And the whole time I did this was in my parents room and looking at this amount, I was like "holy shit, goodbye white land rover!". My dad asked how much it would cost him and when I told him, I was expecting _____________ (insert whatever my father has been saying all this time when i spent his money). But he said "okay, that's a lot of money but I already got it ready".
I was silent. And you know this is major cause I'm the pro at come-backs, I am the best at it in the whole wide world back and forth. But this time, I was like shit, I better start playing go-kart or thats over 2K wasted.
Pressure marnxxzz.
On a different story altogether, my father is so agreeable to me painting and refurnishing my own room after A levels. And I am all psyched and all, envisaging the possibilities that lie ahead, painted ceiling and walls, plasma tv on the wall, possibly a new dvd player and cable in my room and definitely this iPod thingy that I saw that doubles up as a charger, player and FM radio.
Pimp my room, hoes! HAHA
But honestly, between you and me, I think I would get too f lazy to move pass painting 1 wall. I'm too predictable la.
And I'm talking like A levels is a done deal like that. One more paper but I can already taste the sweet taste of freedom!
Monday, November 23, 2009
After my dissapointing chem mcq this morning (and sad, considering this is most likely my final encounter with the subject), I had a sudden mental seizure.
Me: eh, mutton is goat or beef?
Dad: what?!
Me: eh no, goat or cow.
Dad: huh you 18 years old and study in jc also donno. Mutton is pork la! Haha!!!
Me: -.-
Me: eh, mutton is goat or beef?
Dad: what?!
Me: eh no, goat or cow.
Dad: huh you 18 years old and study in jc also donno. Mutton is pork la! Haha!!!
Me: -.-
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