2007 As It Was

And so, once again, here we are- at the final stop, looking back at all the things that had happened regardless of their impact on our lives. We stopped and turned back and with different memories taking its frame in our minds, our feelings and emotions are altered likewise. Then, we wondered and reflected like we always have at this juncture whether we have gained anything in all, if not, some of Life's lessons for us or whether all that we had lost clouded the better times of yesterday. Then, you move your feet forward and continue with your journey, passing this stop and while you keep fond memories of what laid behind you, you brace yourself for the unknown that will meet you very soon.

And, I don't know what the hell got into me when I was writing that. It was just one of those emotional seizures I get while writing. Forgive me.

Anyhoo, 2007 is ending in a few hours and please do not ask me how I spent the last day of my 2007 because I will get emotional again and probably it'll be even uglier than the one up there so lets skip on that.

Come to think of it, 2007 has been an extremely great year and even that, is an understatement to how the year was to me. Lets just put it as the year had touched all facets of my life; brought many joys and laughter, tears and sorrow and even moments of uncertainty and doubts but without any doubt, a year well-spent.

I'm very sure highlight of the year for me and other 1991 babies had to be GCE O Level. Funny how at this same time last year, I remembered praying that the year will just whiz past us so I don't have to stay long and feel the excruciating pain of the academic preparations- lectures, assignments, practicals and what have you not. There was no common tests so life was a little better since there is no reason to start cramming so early in the year but I thought I slogged and prepared well for Mid Year. But, reflecting on it, slogged? NO. Prepared? Yes- to fail MYE, that is. That's what deceiving yourself is, darling. But the time building up to Prelims was very intense and everyone started getting serious with their work and what used to be pockets of laughter in class had turned to ultimate silence, I thought. Prelims came and Prelims went and focus was all it was about. I cried when I did not get my A1 for Chemistry and while I was at that, I cried good and embarassed myself. Shame shame. O levels it was finally and terror, anxiety, relieved and everything else sums up to one giant ball of emotion that was just bursting to escape from me. Then it ended. And, thank god, I'm still alive.

But, really, along the way, no matter how cliche and corny this sounds, meaningful relationships were fostered and friends do get closer to one another and we grew. Then there are many people that I've grown to understand and be fond of and here, I ain't mentioning names cause chances are I will forget some and that will be ugly, sista. So, nuh-uh, no names but you guys do know who you are.

Thank You to those who I studied and crammed with, who exchanged motivation and support, who saw and put up with my 3-seconds interval breakdown, who helped me with all those nonsense and what now seems to be trivial O level questions and in many different ways. Thank You for going through this journey with me and ease the pain and burden of our academic year. Thank You. Love you niggas and hoes.

Now, I'm gonna be random.

Oh, I bought my first hamster in February, the day Heather's hamster died and in June, mine died. His name is Pebbles by the way. Yes, it's a 'he' and has a name of a 'she', if you watch Flintstones.

Then, bought 3 more hamsters and in order of appearance(age), Grabbles, Cobbles, Frabbles. There's a similarity in their names which I have wisely thought of by simply using Newton's Law, coupled with 3 drops of NaOH mixed with half a beaker of Universal Indicator and heated to 75 degrees celsius, no more no less and judging the direction of the Monsoon wind this year and finally I read a little spell from Source Based Questions Nov '84, source C. Heh, bet you cannot figure out the similarity.

Many other personal things that happened that I feel has no space in this post but still has an impact on my life no less. And, which I also, wish to spare you from one of my another over-reacting moments which is actually a 2-second interval affair. Ugly, I know.

I really hope your 2007 was a swell one and one that you will, one day, look back and have a reason to smile.

2008, you better be better than what I have now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

A Very Long Post About A Very Serious Matter

I was just surfing YouTube just yesterday, trying to find the latest scoop about the assassination of Benazir Bhutto when I saw something that disturbed me tremendously. I have never kept track with the development of political situation in Pakistan or anywhere else for that matter but like the majority of us, I am informed about a few things here and there about Iraq, Bush administration and in this case, the late Benazir Bhutto. I am aware of the various corruption accusations pointed against her and how there are different groups of people having different stands about her return from exile in England. And, I am also aware of the couple, I think, assassination attempts on her and the hundreds of innocentb civillians who died at her extent.

Having said that, I am also aware that globally, people too have different impressions and judgement about the late politician but whatever your stand is, I believe, there ought to be respect for those who have departed and this should transcends any politcal boundary or belief; aristocracy or be it democracy.

But, I was deeply appalled by the various comments regarding the late Bhutto. Comments ranging from personal attacks like how she deserved this fate to what I felt was disrespectful and shallow attacks to the religion Islam like how a member of YouTube suggested Islam as a cancer to the world.

So, naturally, I surfed YouTube further and when I entered a few words pertaining this issue in the search engine, I swear I was dismayed at what I saw. Videos after videos, comments after comments on attacks of Islam, the Holy Quran and Our Prophet and more ridiculous, I thought was how these remarks were made purely based on their own emotions and not supported by substanstial reasons. There were people who go around spreading animosity towards Islam by comparing our Prophet to pigs and dogs, mocked the Holy Quran and even to their pleasure and comfort, lifted verses from the Quran and Hadith and twisting the verses to a point where all the meaning in the verses have changed completely so as to suit their accusation towards Islam as a religion for Satan. How convenient!

I was apopletic beyond belief, initially and all I thought of was giving them the easy harsh treatment but then something striked me. These people fall into two broad categories, firstly those who have received the wrong and inaccurate information about Islam because of all the terrorist attacks that are usually but inaccurately linked to Jihad and secondly, those who just hate Muslims and have made it their personal aim to exterminate all of us from the face of this earth. So, I decided, just like water is used to fight fire, I'll use peaceful means to fight their shallow, ridiculous judgement about the whole of Islam that conveniently derived from the actions of a group of extremists. Shameful, is it not, drawing to conclusion with such a narrow mind.

I have Christians and Atheist on YouTube going around saying Allah is nonsense and that he preaches violence. I have these people making cartoons and caricatures of Muhammad and the Quran and thought it was hilrarious to relate Pig to the Holy Land. I have people thinking that blasphemy is somehow synonymous to comedy and the path to world peace. I have people recruiting others who supposedly claimed they were Ex-Muslims and brought them on air to share with the rest of the world why they embraced, lets say, Christianity and explain to the rest the harmful impacts of embracing Islam and even getting them to extract verses from the Quran that are clearly misguiding and wrong. Go look up on YouTube on any videos that indicates blasphemy by Muslims or any Anti-Christ comments or anyhting in that nature. I have and I could not find any.

I am not against freedom of speech neither am I againtst any religions. I respect Christians, Jewish, Buddhists, Hindus, Scientologist, Atheist and any other religions that I am regretfully unaware of. I respect your faith and your God and your freedom to choose whoever you want to follow. I have friends who are devoted Christians, Buddhists and Hindus and we get along really well because in spite being aware that religion is a highly sensitve issue, we make the effort to clear any doubts about other's religion and not just buy the words of any clown on the net.

The only conclusion I can draw from all these hatred and ugly scenes is that ever since the 9/11 episode and how Bin Laden was linked, Islam was indirectly but inevitably linked to violence and killing but not peace, which is the true meaning of Islam. And ever since then, the frequeny of terrorist attacks, bombs and Al-Qaedah and the popular notion of Jihad is at everyone's lips. I admit there are groups of Muslims who you and I have acknowledged as extremists who believed they are spreading the Word of God through the proper way which in reality is the wrong way. Tell me, which religion, no matter what, would encourage its followers to practise violence and take the lives of innocent people and act as though they are God? No religion, of course. Mainstream Islam, the purest state of Islam and not tarnished by these extremists also condemns this acts and Allah too, does. And because of this group of dillusioned Muslims who are extremists, does the rest of the Muslim world deserves to face the same discrimination?

I know I could get into some serious trouble with Blogger or some other people, if not for posting this but let me tell you, I know of some Blogs on Blogger that goes around spreading false word of Islam and encouraging hate. I know of people on the net who are forming Anti-Islam groups and are trying to banish us. I know of clowns and fools on the net who are exploiting the Quran so as to recruit more Anti-Islam members and encouraging even Muslims to lose faith in Islam. Think of that before you conveniently draw assumptions on this post.

I am not saying all this just because I am a Muslim and am furious and disappointed by all the disrescpect towards my religion but I believe that harmony in co-existence of various religions is key towards a peaceful world. Living in Singapore and having a large proportion of Singaporeans being respectful and sensitive towards one another's religion and the only racist sentiments you can ever get is from harmless racist jokes that includes all races and having it's people laughing together clearly made me oblivious to the real situation of the world and the shallowness of people from some first world country who has the mentality and the education that can be assumed as that of the third-world country. And, you talk about fairness of all races and democracy and invading other's territories to restore peace. Give me a break.

All I can say is that if you want any information about Islam or Christianity or any other religions for that matter, go to their various holy places, seek information from the Ustaz or the Pastor. Don't go to some unrelaible websites where it is almost like a Vegetarian teaching you how to eat steak.

Thank God for the education system in Singapore where respect for races and religions are fostered and the people can get along very well despite of varying religion background. Thank God for sensitivity, sensibility, respect and compromise.

regardless of race, language and religion.

Condolences

I've finally decided on my subject combination and the whole process gives you this really strange feeling. Not like twillight zone strange but just knowing that you will step into the unknown once again and start on something totally new, which in a way is twillight zone. And, I couldn't help but ponder what if I've made the wrong decision, you know. I cannot even do my own laundry at 16 and now, I have to decide on my academic future at such at a fragile age. Cruelty is against the law.

So, my first choice was indeed H2 Physics, H2 Chem, H2 Maths, H1 China Studies in EL. And, the second choice was the same for everything except H2 Physics is replaced by H2 History.

Once again, I am not feeling anything. Not anxious or worried or hopeful or anything at all. I just take it as it comes, I guess. This whole situation of not having a proper direction and my let-nature-takes-it-course attitude will kill me one day. Pretty sure of that.

Anyway, was forced to go Tampines Mall with the Mom to collect my specs and I just got home. We saw this really interesting Science Set at Toys R Us and just when Mom wanted to take it off the shelf and off to the cashier, I saw the prints on the box and it said, " _______ Physics and Energy". The blank being some words that were outshone by the the two key words later thus accounting for the reason why I cannot recall them. Physics? Like what the hell... Imagine the horror I faced. I was fooled for a few minutes thinking it was a Chemistry Set since it said on the box with a WARNING label on it and the words that followed were something like, "... chemicals included...could be dangerous if mishandled... adult supervision". Imagine the horror one more time.

Speaking of horror, I forced Mom to get me this Singapore Ghost DVD that I was dying to get my hands on. It is more like a documentary kinda thing; a group of supernatural investigators like the SPI visited some unnamed places in our island that were deemed to be haunted and they recorded the whole "investigation" and even have a reenactment. Honestly, I don't think it will be that scary but they had a POCONG picture on the cover and a Chinese ghost next to it so how can I not buy it, seriously?

Anyhoo, school is starting in a few days for the JC people and once again we are gonna drag our sorry ass to school in the morning while a whole lot of others from our cohort who are planning for Poly sleep their morning away. Sometimes, I do regret applying for the PAE and getting it but my judgement is just clouded by some foolish excuses. So whoever are going for the PAE, live the rest of the holiday like it is your last. Hah, I just felt like saying that for added impact.

According to Associated Press, Benazir Bhutto was a masterful politician and knew what the Pakistanis wanted. She gave the people a voice and talked about them and their problems; that was her real achievement. From BBC NEWS, Bhutto will be buried today after Friday prayers at her ancestral home at Ghari Khuda Baksh, next to her father, former Prime Minister Zulkifar Ali Bhutto. She was leaving an election rally in Rawalpindi and was standing in the open sunroof of a car when a gunman shot her in the neck and chest. Moments later, he blew himself up, killing 20 other innocent people. The world condemns this heinous crime and the perpetrators should be brought to justice.

My condolences goes out to the family of Benazir Bhutto and the Pakistanis.

i put my life in danger and came here because i feel this country is in danger. people are worried. we will bring this country out of the crisis.- Benazir Bhutto at Rawalpindi on 27th December 2007, shortly before being assassinated.

1130PM

Oh my god, after what seems to be like forever and ever and ever of rotting at home and abstaining myself from any forms of activities related to school and education, I finally have to step into the grounds of MJC and have a taste of the "interesting", as they would say, journey that lies ahead.

I slept for close to 5 hours after that. Completely drained.

I must admit that the admin day, though it was very overloaded and tiring, it equipped us with useful information about JC education system and gave us a clearer and broader picture of life at MJC. It really striked me that MJC is actually very much alike to TK. I don't know if it's just me or what but I see resemblance of my secondary school with this college. Maybe I am having withdrawal symptoms from TK.

But, seriously. Thank God many many TKsians were there so I felt pretty comfortable and good and oh yes, what are the chances of meeting your long-lost primary school best friend? God, after 4 years of not talking and walking with her, it was so surreal to do just that and she hasn't changed very much, so yay!

Now I am really really undecided about my subject combination, far worse off than I was yesterday. I have totally scrapped off Geography from my mind especially it is required that you have some funny skills like fieldwork and another which I cannot remember. I cannot even do a decent job with a topographic map and now fieldwork? Hah, good joke. And, the lady who addressed us for Geography didn't appear to me as friendly and passionate and if she had made a morsel of an attempt to convince us, I would probably still consider. So that's another reason for me not to take Geog. Seriously, why are all Geography teachers odd one way or the other?

So, ultimately now, it boils down to H2 Physics or H2 Economics or H2 History. H1 is a confirmed, without a speck of doubt, China Studies in English. That teacher had successfully manipulated my feelings and won me over. So, yeah, GO MAO!

Economics, so they said, is a life-skill and it will be with you up to university level. Without this knowledge, you cannot understand the global economic behaviour or simply, the article in Straits Times. Thanks eh, for adding to my dilemma. I don't want to take Econ be it H1 or H2 since you have to handle graphs, interpretations and more nonsense but if I'm thinking long-term, maybe it is really handy to have this knowledge.

History is not very much a life-skill but my only reason for contemplating on History is that, though it's heavier in terms of workload, let's face it, it's all memory work. And if my memory works really well, then it is an added advantage for me, is it not? I don't have to bother about the Science behind why the Berlin Wall was demolished or why there was a Cold War, right. And, that will mean 1 less subject to lose my sleep over.

Physics, the teacher said, requires interest and the love to solve questions that are _________ (which I inferred to be along the line of 'ridiculous' and 'not meant to be solved'). No, I do not have that much interest in Physics and no, I do not seek pleasure from doing things that cannot be done. But, I am afraid I need Physics in the long run especially after the NUS talk.

I must submit my decision online by 1130pm tonight.

Show me the light, somebody. Anybody.

Children and Mr. Mao

So, yeah. Now that the whole cross-posting does actually work, I am good to go. But, I am still composing my entry at Multiply since familiarity is my best friend. Besides, the whole Blogger-compose-blog page is awfully odd to me; the size of the texts are unusually huge and it just doesn't look as user-friendly as Multiply. So, if you are reading this at Blogger, just so you know, I was typing this at Multiply.

Ah, the wonders of technology...

My nephews and nieces just left my home and now it's all quiet and serene again. You know, they are really young and these small kids, it is like as though they have made it their personal mission to annoy you with every given opportunity. I don't know if it's just me but as cute as they gets, their valour to push my limits seem remarkably significant. But the more I try to get them to hate me so that they will leave me alone and only disturb me when I want them to, the more they cling onto me like as though there is an electrostatic force of attraction between us. But, it only seems to work one way.

Now before you form an inaccurate impression of me which is a discrepancy of my true self, I love kids, when they listen to what I tell them to do. And, I do not, in any circumstances, support child abuse, child labour, child pornography or anything in that nature. I don't hate kids; I just like them tamed.

Anyhoo, back to something of more importance. Tomorrow is the admin day and I think I've somewhat decided silently with myself that H2 Physics will be my choice. But, I still have yet to get a second opinion from my Physics tutor but since I can predict his answer, I can already envisage submitting myself to the mental torture and emotional torment of the constant failure of that subject and will learn to accept from the beginning that a mere pass is in fact, a noble dream.

And I am not just saying all these without any basis but I've seen seniors who took Physics and heard of others from Huiqi that they do not come to a good end. They either firstly, fail miserably throughout the year but still persist and eventually faced up to reality and drop the subject at the end of the year or secondly and more simply, struggle and threw in the towel. I prefer the latter though- hassle-free.

H1 is already decided and China Studies in English it shall be. Sarah was obviously flabbergasted and never failed to what-the-hell me. Why would she not especially after all the cruel and insensitive jokes we have related China with and the people of that country. But, I see it as a chance finally to truly understand China and the people of China; how they feel, how we have misunderstood them and what we have missed. It's finally a chance for me to hear their voice loud and clear and their stories told. Who am I kidding, seriously?

So yeah, MJC tomorrow at 745am and I don't know if I can wake up and I also don't know if I can find my way there.

and you, it was clearly a mistake.

Cross-Posting

I am an IT noob who is trying to find her place somewhere in the cross-posting between Multiply and Blogger.

Lets see if this works.

Heh.

Finally

Wow, Blogspot. Finally.

Lets see how long this will last.

Things that are done on impulse do not last long.

Lets see.