I want to be a stand-up comedian

So, you know, I've been terribly busy with so much things of late that I cannot even decide what to do most of the time. I have PW, council things, managing my damned eyes which just refuse to open whenever I'm in front of the laptop except for times when I am surfing Youtube. Don't you come crying to me your life sucks.

But, seriously, I think I have a new ambition now. I used to want to be a teacher when I was young but when I reached puberty and my mind has reached its capacity to observe and infer, I observed that 9/10 times, teachers look and feel miserable. I, then infer, I was and in fact still miserable being in the system and there's no fuck in hell, I'll ever teach.

Which reminds me of something Ryan Stiles said in a show when asked what he would say if his daughter wanted to be a teacher. Genius replied, "Even prostitutes earn more than that, darling". LOL.

But, I love my teachers. (just to be safe here)

Then, I wanted and still want to be a psychologist. And then my mom said, "You cannot even handle yourself you want to handle others. Psycho can ah". I love my mom btw.

But, now, I have a new ambition. I want to be a stand-up comedian. No, asswipe, that wasn't a punchline. The only punch you gonna get is coming from my fist cause that's my current ambition. Don't judge!

I won't stand though cause I tremble a lot when I have to do some public thing, so I'll sit. I have stage fright and nobody in this godforsaken world believes me. You see, being able to talk and being comfortable on stage are different from having no stage fright.... I think. I'm comfortable on stage after a while but I have stage fright and everytime I'm talking especially in school, my mind is a beautiful mess and my heart just pump it man.

Anyway, go watch Katt Williams on Youtube. He is my friggin' idol now.

Until I have a new ambition, the only thing I want to become now is Katt Williams. Minus the hairdo.

A Loooong Post

So, how long has it been since a proper post? Brace yousrself for a looong post.

Last year, on my birthday, I came home from school and I found out that my parents had bought a surprise birhtday cake for me. And you know, if they bother to keep a secret like this, the least I could do was to be surprise. The problem was, they do this every single year! And every year I have to be surprised.

And that same day, they said they wanted to make my 17th birthday a real birthay. A party. A cake. Friends and Family over the house. And I told them, I don't really like birthday cake, not into the party thang. Just want a silent celebration with the family.

And silent it was this year. Woke up last Friday with 22 smses on the phone. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had not silent my phone the previous night? I would have woken up 22 times in one night!

Anyway, no cake. Nothing. And I thought to myself, "Baik ama. Baik. You said you never really like cake and look at what you get. Nothing!". No actually I get this from my father, he smsed "happy birthday. you old now ah, remember".

But, really, the dinner at Breeks later was good so, who actually eats a birthday cake eh?

And this is when I become a lucky bitch. I had fever on Sunday and my WHOLE family and oh, trust me when I say WHOLE, we Malay people have WHOLE family, the mother's sister, the mother's brother's and the wife's and the children and the mother's another brother's and the cousins' and the wife's and the husband's and the postman. God, I swear it is like that.

I can't even remember what I wanted to say now. Oh, so on that Sunday, we were over at my Uncle's place, don't ask which one cause I will take 2.5 hours to explain to you. And so when you have fever and you are in a Baju Kurong and it's a hot day, you get really extra easily irritated and even the Mee Soto is not appetising anymore. See how bad it gets to you.

But, when you hear the happy birthday song and a whole 'legion' of your cousins coming out from the kitchen with a birthday cake, all the fever and the headaches were dispelled! Moral of the story, when you have fever, ask your loved ones to sing happy birthday to you.

No what I'm saying is, I'm blessed to have people who actually love and care about me cause I'm really not an easy creature to be fond with. Well I am if you actually find annoyance, taking ugly photos, talking non-stop, making fun of people who are angry at me aka as my father and mother and all that shit really cute.

And this doesn't really matter but since it's worth 120dollars I have to mention this. The cousins got me 120dollars worth of Esprit Gift Voucher.

Guess who loves Esprit and guess who's going shopping this Saturday?

Again, been very very busy. Terribly busy. Will do a proper post soon.
Have to show you guys what I got for birthday. Not a lot but it's really really nice.

And,

Jessie, sorry for still not having our Ikea date!
Hassy, sorry on Monday!

And, Fong, I've never written a similar post like that. You must have travelled into the future like Hiro.

Damn girl.

This really won't make much sense but I have to type this out so as to clear my thoughts.

Sarah used to tell me that whenever something terrible happened and I was supposed to get upset, I don't but instead I get angry. And I used to think that it was a good thing cause I thought getting upset is the worst anyone can get emotionally and I am too afraid to go there.

But now, I realise that my fear of getting upset has been hindering so much things so far and I'm just too afraid to step out of my comfort zone.

Oh goodness, I admit I don't know where I'm going with this either.

This is what I meant to say actually. So, there's this little something that is going on and I'm really happy with it and happy is such an understatement. I really want this little something to happen for real but, here is the deal, I'm not sure if this little something is really something or if it is just nothing.

You get it? Good.

And I'm already on the excited phase and if I let myself go any further, chances of being upset and getting hurt will subsequently rise. And you know, I'm afraid of getting upset.

Forget all this.

I saw something that made me panic a little, okay, a lot and here I am writing funny nonsense.

It's 230am, so none of this actually makes much sense.

But, I really hope this little something is not nothing.

I feel like punching my gums now. Don't you?

17 years on

Happy Birthday to me!

17 years of life and so far,

1) fractured an arm. done.
2) sprained ankle. done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done....
3) tore a ligament. done.done.
4) went thru at least a surgery. done.
5) fall down unglamarously. (i cannot write the same number of 'done' to account for this)
6) embarass myself. (same thing)
7) committed a crime (heh heh, u rmb)
8) matured in thinking (i like to say yes but sadly, no)
9) make ppl laugh at my jokes (they laugh at me. good enough la eh?)
10) have great family (the best there is)
11) have great friends (oh hell yeah)
12) grateful to Allah (every moment)
13) became a better person (there's a limit to how good a person can be yaw!)
No no, but seriously. I want a white dwarf hamster.

When I was 15, I thought, shit I'm getting so old and before I know it, I'll turn 40 and have soon have menopause and then wither and die. Okay maybe not that exact thoughts but you intelligent asses get my drift. And my friends know that when I was 16, which happened not to be too long ago, really, I really liked it if I don't get reminded of my age. Cause in all honesty, I fear turning old. Really.

Whatever la with the saying age is just a digit. It's not just a digit! If it is, people don't turn cranky, become so.. you know, old-ish, turn dead and eventually dead. Sometimes, I used to forget I was 16, I used to think I was 14 then.

If you are anything lesser than 17, be happy now cause your day will come to turn this old. If you are more than that, you should just prepare for menopause.

I'm kidding.

But, I just don't like being old. Really.

Happy to still be living nonetheless!

(thanks guys for the smses so far :) )

The thought of getting a new white hamster is lingering on my mind.

I saw 2 cats playing together this morning and i thought they were extremely cute. Now, i think i want to keep cats. I'll call one of them Pee and the other Poo.

I'm doing WR in school now but my eyes are heavy.

The pink tights/panties conversation is still making me laughs. In buses.

Mr Lye said the PW dept said our WR is sitting on an A.

Life is good. Better if i can sleep now.

So, my mum got really tired of my left foot not being able to move every other hour, she took me to a Chinese physician.

Now, my left foot plus my calves plus my right foot plus my calves are full of bruises.

But, I can run a little now without that stabbing feeling on my left foot.

Much much better than physio, if you ask me.

China, I love you.