Born Of A Vision To Be The Best

I would have ponned today if I was not afraid of getting my name striked off the enrolment list. I thought about it for a while... Then, I realised it's too big a price to pay for 2 years for not moving my ass today.

So, I went and I sat through all the "interesting" talks which they practically repeated word by word from 8 weeks ago. I yawned every 8 second, (I timed myself) and my eyes teared each time. Talk about being bored to tears...

But, I felt a lot more comfortable in the hall than other times cause maybe because I've warmed up to the whole place and I already knew most of the people around and just maybe, I've grown to like MJC a lot better now. And, I think I can put the college anthem on repeat. You know, it's the kind of song when you listen to it more and more, you feel more and more inspired and motivated to the point that you actually sing it like you mean it. You actually believed the truth in the words you were singing out loud. No?

That was what I felt, at least.

There were 2 things I realised today. 1) I am ready to be a part of MJC. 2) I don't like one of the higher people there.

Anyway, soon enough I will no longer don the familiar and comfortable TK uniform. I am gonna miss it hell a lot after 4 years. I like that we folded our sleeves and our skirt leaves a lot of room for manoeuvring especially for someone like me who does not know how to sit like a girl.

I don't think I can cross my leg like the boys when I'm in MJ's skirt. Boo!

Anyhoo, my leg still hurts very much and my throat is so itchy, I swear I will put my hand and scratch it. And, 1/4 of my wisdom tooth on my left has grown so it hurts like shit too.

See, there isn't any other life I rather live.

you have nothing to be afraid of if you did nothing wrong. the least you could do was to have a brief chat with them considering the time they stupidly wasted just to travel to see you. but, you do what you do best and that didnt even bother your conscience a bit when you chose to ignore and leave without even a meaningless "hi, how are you?". you are the most insenstive person i've come across my whole life. i am more amused than amazed at your downright disrespect because nothing else you do can disgust me any further. respect works both way; dont just hope for it. earn it.

Double K

I just came back to say, my left leg hurts like hell.

Yesterday, before crossing the road, I mean, before jay-walking, I was too busy talking to some friends that I did not realise thee was this sharp, rusty thingy mounted on the ground. So, I knocked into it. My left leg bled a little, butt it looks completely harmless.

Now, there's 3 tiny dents on my shin and blood has dried from it.

But, it hurts like shit. I think the rust got into my leg.

I don't want to die yet.

And, oh, I really think Kit-Kat is the most underrated chocolate. Nothing tastes better than my double K. Not even Rocher.

And Once Again

MJC Science

That is it. My life for the next 18 months.

I don't know what to feel but I guess I am thankful that I get into the college that I want though it was because of a change of heart. I've adapted to MJ's environment and just trying to do that was so much hassle so if I was thrown into some other college, I will have to repeat the whole trouble of making friends and adapting to new environment.

TJC is and always will be my fantasy. Hah.

Actually it was a relief to know it was MJC because I l knew TJC was like a "duh, you're not getting it" kinda choice but I had this fear that MJC did not want me either because I put them as second. But, phew!

Need to collect certificate and testimonial from TK soon.

Goodbye or Hello?

Today is the last day of PAE and who would have thought that saying goodbye still is the hardest thing even if you only know one another for roughly 2 months? Who would have thought that the 12 people around me; my CGmates would be of so much interest to me when 2 months ago during orientation, not even cheering the House cheers humored me a teeny bit? Who would have thought after all the negative vibes I have towards this college, 2 months later, there is no other college I rather be?

Certainly not I.

Like you would probably have known by now, I am not exactly the best at bidding farewell neither am I the one who can easily let it go and move on, pretending all the laughters and annoyance I felt once upon a time, has no effect on me whatsoever. So, I have a feeling this time, thing is not that different either.

I really want to talk about my CGmates but I'll do it on another post when I receive the pictures from Eileen. But just know that, these are the best people I have met in college and I'm really glad I know them.

Anyway, tomorrow is the posting of JAE- the real shit, yaww! Hah. I had put TJC (Sci) as my first choice because that college has always been and will always just be a fantasy for as long as I shall live. It's just there for me to see and admire from far but not really close enough for me to touch and feel it's brilliance. I had always wanted to be a student there but we know, this is life and in life, you'll never get what you want so I have learnt to cope with that now.

Second choice is the more practical one- MJC (Sci). Half of me is not worried that MJ will reject me because they cannot do that since my net L1R5 is better than their COP and I can come in even without loyalty points. But, another half of me, the more paranoid one says that chances are MJ will reject me because I'm a traitor because I put them as second choice. Does not make sense right? But, you know, the things I am able to convince myself to believe in times like this.

Worst case scenario is that TJC will not even look at me, MJC rejected me and I am posted to my 3rd choice- either SA or AC. I will not really mind AC since a few of my friends are there.

Hah. Please la, just give me MJC. Just give me something that I want for once la.

Into The Unknown

Don't get me started on my hate relationship with anything that sounds or has to do with Monday. Like, which knucklehead thought it was cool to name a day as 'Monday' and another idiothead who thought it's even cooler to start school on a Monday. If school starts on any other day but Monday, I am almost certain I will not have anything personal against Monday. Maybe on some other days...

Anyway, this Tuesday is the posting for JAE. Time do fly if you think about it. It seems like it was only a couple of days back I was complaining how much I was rotting my life away then when college started, I complained I did not have enough time doing nothing. And, there was the O levels result period then now, PAE is ending and it's time for the real deal.

Aaaah, another 18 months roughly in an education system I'm really not sure I want to be involved in.

You know, honestly, I have never considered anything that has to do with Poly and I'm saying this with no intention of disrespect to my fellow friends who are/will be going to Poly or even trying to hint of superiority of JC over Poly, cause I personally feel that's a whole load of bull.

Back to what I wanted to say- I did not consider Poly at all because I have not the slightest idea what course I want to pursue in or even if I am cut-out for Poly life. You need so much discipline to attend lectures, exemplary time management to balance projects, assignments, exams, social life and the list goes. That is why I envy those who are going Poly because they know exactly what they want and they are already doing what they want to do and enjoying it. I am in a JC because I am not really sure if the career path I will be taking is what I really want when I enter Uni and other than that, technically, JC is the surest path to Uni.

Then, there's the other thing of screwing up 'A's and not getting a place in Uni and not even having a proper A level certificate or even a diploma thus making my point above on JC being your passport to Uni a whole load of bull altogether. And, the dream job that I have in mind now may change 2 years from now and then I'll be left doing something I do not want to do for the next century.

The only reason I am thinking so much about this JC/Poly thing now, Uni and career is because a friend of mine told me she has her life planned ahead of her and she knows what she wants and she'll do it. And, she plans to get married 2 years from now and already has a 'planned husband', if you will.

You can say it's the fear of being in the unknown that has prompted me to rant everything above. I know as for right now, the only thing I am willing to exchange my sleep with is Chemistry and thus my career path in mind is something along the chemicals. But, even then I am not doing well for JC Chem and it's supposed to be easy-peasy shit. And, I'm doubting my interest in Chem now.

Ah. I know why I'm blabbering too much now! I could not solve the Iodometric question in the tutorial and I went crazy for a while.

if time was in our favour

Still Not Moving On

Thank God It's Friday! I've been looking forward to this day since last Sunday night and finally... here it is. You know, if I have 1 wish and I have to keep it to that, I wish that every day will be like a Friday. It can be called Monday but it has to be like a Friday... You get what I mean, right? Friday is like the most perfect day of the week, especially the evening cause everything is so laid-back and time seems to pass so slowly and I like that. I can actually go on rambling about Friday and how I am in love with it, but I think I'll stop. For now.

Anyhoo, went to TM with Mom to just walk around and do a bit of shopping and I decided to drop by Popular to look at the Reference Books they have. And, Amos and Nich were so right- the prices are so effing ludicrous! I could buy a baboozillian of my O levels TYS in exchange of one A level Chemistry reference book. That's how expensive it is- $70. I can buy many many things with that amount of money la. And we looked around too but there are very few A level assesment books to the point that, relative to O levels assesment books, A levels' are like 1/2340983903409709701293723803. And, I'm not bullshitting. Really.

Okay, you got me. I am.

Dad bought me an Adidas shirt for running and so, it's normal right? Adidas shirt to go running? Yes, it's normal. My father bought it for me, so normal la? Wrong! Hah, I think he needs a favour from me. Yes! That must be it! This has got to be a bribe.

I am making my father look like a self-centered, manipulative scrooge, no?

But, seriously no. He's really the opposite of all those above but you can substitute 'scrooge' for 'cheapo', for euphemism's sake. He buys me everything I want but the amount of nagging I have to go through each time used to be so excruciating but now, it's pointless since I'm immune to it. He usually will never get me this kinda thing unless I ask/whine for it and it's a like a 90+ shirt he bought just for me to drench my sweat in. Something seems wrong, yes?

But, it's okay. I love my father. But, the top is yellow and 1 size bigger. And he said, excellent for air ventilation but... yellow? What's your reason, Father?

I miss TK a lot still. I think it should be time I let go of TK but it's not happening. A lil more time perhaps. But, deep down, I doubt so. How do you let go of a part that is immortalised in your very being?

i hate this song because the words were written for you

Valentine's

It has been a while yeah. Anyway, I was too busy with school work, sleeping and more sleeping that I could not possibly find any more energy to blog. But, I have so many things worth mentioning in this post unlike the previous ones because finally, yes, finally my life has moved from that stagnant point and into something more meaningful.

Anyhoo, I failed my Chemistry test. I will not mention my marks or worse, my grade because firstly, it is hell embarassing and secondly, I fear your heart will suddenly stop pumping from the laughter fits you'll be in when you realise that I may only look smarter in juxtapose to a cockroach hence very embarassing. I do not think cockroaches are stupid, by the way.

And, the fun does not end there. I failed my Physics test. Actually, it was by a whisker so I am not that distraught but to think of it, I was expecting to at least pass it. But, I was not very serious with my revision so I guess I deserve it.

But, here is the BIG BUT. I got an A+ for my GP essay. The topic was: "There is no other place I rather be". Is this the feeling of the youths in your country towards your country? Somewhere along that line. Hah, just when you thought a D is not even possible to come from this pathetic being, it's an A with a plus sister! How 'bout that, y'all?! Cause I'm that good, that's why.

Honestly, I'm not even that proud of it cause I know that is just the PAE and what we are having now is just like a small proportion of the real deal. Just like 25.0 cm3 of solution for titration from a 500 cm3 standard solution. Only that the scale is shit bigger than that. That explains why I'm not really bothered that I failed my 2 tests. Worried? Slightly. Suicidal? Nope.

Happy Valentine's Everyone!

I love 08S204 like bucket loads, each and every one of them. College today was crazy; people ran around from one corner to another to exchange gifts and hugs. But, it felt really comforting to feel so much love.

And, I got 1 mysterious gift from a mysterious person, my angel. Jeng... jeng... jeng! Can someone please suggest a suitable gift? He gave me a box of Rocher and I cannot actually give him a box of chocolates too right? The mystery of it all...

To something of lesser importance to everyone else in this planet other than myself, so you can skip this part. N called after I finished dinner with Kai Hui, Theo and Min Yu. And though he really troubled me, it was worth the time la. Every second of it.

you, thank you for tonight yeah but it would have been even perfect with earlier notice. :) and, you really should not have troubled yourself with all the planning but it was really so sweet of you. thanks for the unexpected present but i'll give yours really really soon since i have to put a lot of effort into it also. promise!