Hell Week

I just finished the research on my China assignment. Actually, I have not even started on it because I found almost zero material on it. Nothing. Maybe nobody has paid so much attention on race until we Singaporean students decide to be smart and take China Studies.

Oh, but I found an essay, that argues on the different factors contributing to the identity of an ethnic group. If only I took China Studies in Chinese then my research will be done by now.

Anyway, I'm getting myself ready for next week. I'm expecting not to have time to blink my eye now let alone breathe. Let me tell you the shit I bring myself so willingly into yes.

Monday, I have a Redox quiz which I convinced myself I am prepared for. My PI is due and I still have close to a 100 words to cut. Soccer in the afternoon.

Tuesday is my rally. So, it basically sums up my whole anxiety for the week. Just emailed Sherman my final draft and I still think its too formal.

Wednesday is the Pre-U seminar usher thingy I decided to join. This is the shit I get into when I do things on impulse. Soccer, I cannot go- again.

Thursday is the mini-concert which I have agreed to help Atiqah and do 1 or 2 magic tricks. Tentatively, it is the interview.

Friday, is the interview again. Chemistry extra lecture. It's our event day- TGIF. Soccer training.

And, in between of all these days, help yourself by adding in tutorials, assignments, lecture this and that...

Now, you understand why your life is better than mine.

Okay, I'm off to sleep and conserve energy for tomorrow onwards. :D

School Is Slowly Killing Me

Why, Friday, why did you take so long to come? Why? Are you gonna wait for me to die of exhaustion then you'll get satisfied?

I've attained enlightenment and found the true-est meaning to "TGIF". I'm telling you, don't you dare say "TGIF" when for the past 4 days, if you've reached home from college before the sun sets, if you have nothing to do but just bite your nails and count the number of strands of hair you have and thought that was hell or to simply put it, if you were not living my life.

Hurhur. A bit emo the last sentence eh.

But seriously, I've been so busy these days that I don't even have time to stop and breathe, let alone stop and stare la. Lame lah, Amalina. Anyway, for 3 days running I've been reaching home about 8pm and then I'll be exhausted and the only thing I want to do is to sleep. But, I didn't cause I have tutorials and assignments to be completed. Then, when I no longer can tahan, I finally sleep and even then, it seems like it was 1/73827328372837283702893728371287383728937238927392 of a second that I could have some time for myself. Then, I wake up and go to school and my everything starts again.

It's not helpful at all that I cannot do Maths tutorial questions so the only thing I can feel is stupidity. And, I still don't know how to use GC. Maths is so bloody disgusting but at the same time, I want to do it but I cannot because... I have not gained Mathematical Enlightenment. Eeee maths.

So, I've put up my posters in college and Wan Fong, I love you soooo much woman! My TAs think the posters were very good, my friends looooove it and I think I have the prettiest posters. Especially, the Simpson's piece. Thank you so much love! Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. :D

Okay, now I'm off to do my PW research and China research. We had a question, "What makes Chinese, Chinese?". I'm doing Journey, by the way.

you can deny all that in one breath

Don't Bother Reading

It has been busy busy busy.

And next week will be busier, busier, busier.

And the following week will be busiest, busiest, busiest.

I have so many things to do and had done so many things and intended to blog about a few of the many things but none of those things are materialising into words.

Anyway, I think men who are really really good with digits and try really fervently to make you understand a certain Maths or Physics concept that you don't give 2 hoots about a total turn on. They are just so... sexy that way.

And, I find boys and girls with braces really hot. Not sexual hot but just...hot.

Actually, ignore whatever I've just written.

Okay, I'm off to do something less productive.

I Am GP Rep

Really short one again cause I am extremely drained today physically.

Nothing much happened this few weeks other than the normal school routine. I wish something interesting happens on a daily basis so I'll find more than one reason to wake up and get my sorry ass to college every day. The period when MSK escaped from the detention centre was filled with fear and suspense but at least it was interesting. Oh, my father woke up late today... like really late and so, I woke up late too. But, still early for school. The beauty of living near to where you study.

Anyway, had Compass today and it was really different from PAE. CG was way bigger and there was lesser CG interaction. Mr Chiang and Dr Vaz aren't that different though- tutors who take it easy. But, Mr Chiang keeps more to the schedule that he had planned out whereas Dr Vaz just go with the flow. I miss Dr Vaz and how we slacked like hell during Compass. We played truth or dare during the first lesson. He told us the person he did not like after he chose to tell the truth. That was how 'on' he was la!

During GP we discussed about family and as expected, the issue on legalising gay marriages in Singapore surfaced. When I was brainstorming all the points to agree and disagree, it hit me and I thought for a while, how will our society be shaped like if/when gay marriages are legalised? Then, the next predictable issue will be permitting gay couples to adopt children and if we do permit this, how will this children be affected during their development process? Will man-man relationship, to them be considered normal and man-woman be regarded as otherwise? And when they ask the parents where they come from, what is the response given?

A really intriguing human experiment, if you ask me.

Anyhoo, I am the GP Representative. Didn't come as a surprise to you, right? HAHA. Didn't think so.

you bleed for me, i'll bleed for you

Touch And Go

Just a really quick update before I go running and settle my remaining tutorials.

2nd day in Term 2 and so far, things have not yet gone bad. Everything is still in place, homeworks still done, tutorials completed and lectures attended. Lets just hope the rest of the term remains like this.

Having said that, I had a Physics Lecture Test on the first day of T2 and I have done the necessary preparations; not sufficient to top the chart but still sufficient to get by. And just when I thought everything was going my way, I realised moments after the end of the test that I did not convert the whole of Question 4 to the SI unit. Yes, shoot me, thank you very much.

Apart from that little hiccup, everything else seems better. Not best, just better. I think I love GP partly because my GP tutor, Mr Chiang who happens to be my CT teacher happens to be my favourite teacher currently. That explains a lot, eh. And we had a Diagnostic Test just now and I kept reminding myself that there isn't a need to sustain the A+ or any reason why I have to impress the marker unless of course the marker is my favourite teacher. Didn't give myself much of a choice, eh?

Got a B for Chemistry Redox assignment. Happy and grateful but not contented.

Oh and so we have our PW task already. It's a choice between Journey and Modernisation. But, there isn't much of preparation just yet because they are still in the process of briefing it to us. I like PW period a whole lot because other than the fact that there is one particular guy in the LT who... lets just say are in touch with his feminine side a tad more than an average guy, there is no other possible reason that can exist. But, still a nice guy and he reminds me of someone I used to know in TK.

And Mr Chiang is my PW teacher also. I guess other than the particular person up there, I have another reason to like and excel PW.

Till then babeh.

Till then babeh.

Carousel

You know what, I am just gonna distract myself a lot from the fact that tomorrow is a brand new term and that means back to the same old shit, going to college, study, then go home and do homework, then wake up and go to college... And the vicious cycle continues.

So, yesterday, the cousins and I had lunch at the Carousel and since it was a planned outing, there were so many of us. Okay fine, not thaaat many, but yeah, a considerable number about more than, say, 13? Ya lah, ya lah, not that many.

Anyhoo, it was like a lunch buffet and 'all you can eat' kinda thing so we attacked all the food that were laid on the many many different tables like vultures, along with the other patrons there. Almost like the phrase 'survival of the fittest' materialising into the real world. I am thinking that there are that many of us so that was why they gave us a free upgrade to the private room.

And anything that is free, tastes a lot better.

I'm a Singaporean.

The raw salmon, the sushi, the scallops, the cocktail sauce, the pizza, the laksa, the kebab, the fish, the crab and 2938217321983712987312893712937 other types of food that were on the buffet tables ended up on our table. And it was gone faster than you can say, "BURP!".

Oh oh and the brownies were heaven and the chocolate fondue, and the marshmallow dipped with hot and rich chocolate sauce, sprinkled with gold dust and rainbows were paradise. So, if the chocolate is the last thing you want in your mouth before you die, you know where to go. Annie and I had chocolate orgasm every 4 seconds and at the end of the whole lunch, I felt like a new woman.

Anyway, we shopped and somebody, please, shoot me! I bought another top from Esprit and you cannot blame me, it was on sale and it was really really nice. Like seeeeriously nice. I wanted to get this top from Topshop but I was short of 13bucks and I never liked borrowing money from anyone so I guess, Esprit was God's way of redeeming Topshop for me. And, my 3rd purchase from Esprit this month alone.

Anyhoo, all of that above is probably the last best thing that happened to me before T2 begins but I guess, I'll try finding enjoyment and pleasure in college, attending lectures, solving some Maths questions that are not related to mine or your existence, psycho-ing myself to like Chemistry even when I fail my test.

Aaaah, the future looks promising.

And as far as SC is concerned, I have come up with my slogan. Nothing catchy but can make it la. I'm trying very hard not to panic with all the tasks at hand and so far, everything seems fine. But once the term stars and PW commences and tests and this and that, I'll probably panic and have a nervous breakdown every 10minutes.

Anway, thanks Mr Chye, my manager for all the ideas! :D

Hello Term 2.

No Good Friday

This is one of the most rare occasion where I dread at the thought of Friday. You know, on a usual school week, it'll take forever and ever and ever for Wednesday to come and worse, more ever and ever and ever for Friday morning to even arrive. But, now that it's a vacation week, Friday came faster than I could say 'MJ' or 'underwear'.

I am really convinced there is a conspiracy going on somewhere.

Anyway, as predicted, my holiday is or soon enough, was perfect and the only thing I need to make it perfect beyond perfection is... an extension of holiday. So, if you are someone from the MOE and you are reading this, come on, what harm can another week do eh?

I'm beginning to think that I should never ever go on a vacation without first drawing up a plan on what to do cause when I say "I'll do what I want when I want", that's just a euphemism or just a hell long way to say "I ain't doing nothing". That is if you don't count Mosaic, BBQ, movie, shopping, ECP and the list goes on... But nothing in the list says 'homework' or 'study'.

So, anyway, had 08S204 bbq on Wednesday and the whole thing ended about 11ish but a few of us stayed behind to share ghost stories while waiting for Hoe Kiat to finish up his drumlets. And where our pit was, it was far far away from civilisation and there was very few people left around that area and at that point cause I was too freaked out from all the stories of our friends from the other side, I began to wonder if the people around were even one of us. That part of ECP at night was like... Ghost Town. Scary Merry.

So I called my father to meet me at the bus-stop since it was close to 1am and I was pretty much convinced then that a ghost from ECP had stucked with me throughout the journey home because she eavesdropped on our story-telling session and felt insulted thus decided to take revenge. What was scarier than meeting a vengeful Pontianak that night was having my semi-awake father at the bus-stop just going on and on about 'how he wished I'll meet a ghost one night so I will stop staying out late' in between his yawns and snores.

Anyhoo, had the first Council briefing yesterday and at the end of the session, I had a million more things in my hand compared to the time I came in. We have to prepare a slideshow by Monday then design our posters and name tag and placard and more importantly, a speech. And we have to organise an event as 3 different committees and mine turned out to be TGIF. There is not a better person to do TGIF...

And, oh, yes. My nominee number is 6 and I will be the first person to do my speech on the second day of the rally and that day turns out to be 1 April. Of all days eh, April's Fools. Great.

Aah, the experience will be great la even if I don't get sufficient votes.

Vote for me.

run rabbit run

Ho- Ho- Holiday!

As for right now, my life is perfect. Purrrfect, for added effect.

No school. No waking up at 6am. No bathing in the morning. No walking to the bus-stop in the morning. No standing on the bus in the morning. No pledge taking in the morning. No nothing in the morning.

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrfect.

I had plans initially to divide my time between my academic obligation and my social life but then I thought... this is the last real holiday that I have before the real JC shit starts. So, screw the plans; I'll do what I want to do when I want to do.

The only heavy workload for the whole holidays is Chemistry. Bet you could not figure that out. Secretly, I kind of like it... You know, the whole "I hate it but I want more of it", no? But now, I really don't like it cause I am stucked with a few Redox questions and no matter how many times I attempted it, I find myself still stucked and thus it makes me feel really stupid. Not that I feel any different any other day.

Anyhoo, I think I love grocery shopping. We were at the monolithic Giant outlet at Tampines yesterday and we spent 4hrs 58mins just shopping for the things we needed/not needed, wanted/ did not want but took anyway. So the whole cart was threatening to give way and I swear it was verging on stocking up for a potential terrorist attack since MSK still is missing. And, I seriously think grocery shopping is therapeutic almost giving you a break from your reality especially if you go with the parents at a hypermarket.

Oh, and that is when you can push your cart pretending you are Alonso when the place isn't crowded cause nobody cares and when the place is, you can hit the other person's cart intentionally and just say 'sorry' and then do it again to some other Auntie there. Pretty fun.

I am really convinced nothing can spoil my holiday. Nothing at all. Not even some nonsensical Summation questions which does not make sense, not even an odd trajectory which I cannot find it's speed. Not even nothing!

Damn. The kids are coming over tomorrow.

i will not hurt annoying children. i will not hurt annoying children. i will not hurt annoying children.

Story With No Flow

Friday comes early for me this week. I can consider today as Friday because it's a happy day and Friday equals happy. Actually, today was not really a happy day since we had an extra Chemistry lecture 1 hour after our official lecture ended and that meant I went home an hour later than scheduled which then equals to sad but Chemistry equals happy. Go figure

The reason why today is a Friday for me is because tomorrow, the real Friday, I only have 1 lesson in the morning which ends at 935am. That explains a whole chunck of my sheer delight.

Anyway, received the permanent timetable yesterday and it was pretty neat to say the least. Nothing too heavy but definitely lesser breaks. Blame it on PW.

I am typing all these in a semi-conscious state so chances of my thoughts suddenly appearinng somewhere here is pretty high.

I don't know still if I should try out for SC. If I don't get shortlisted after the interview, then that is another story by itself cause then I don't have to choose between soccer and SC. But, suppose I get shortlisted and have to prepare for the rally, that is when, I think, the whole worrying begins.

I think I will think about it over the holidays and decide.

So far, I know 2 guys who speak with fake accent and hell are very proud of it. And one of them is proud cause he does not sound local when he is like true blue cheena la. And the best part is that the accent only appears with added effect when he is conscious.

But darling, with an accent like that, I rather speak Singlish with all the 'meh', 'lor', 'hor'.

Oh, I need to get boots.

And, oh, we learnt electronic stucture for Chemistry today, if it is of any interest to you. But, it was very interesting to me. That was the only 2 periods I was really glued to what the lecturer was saying. Do you want to know the electronic structure?

There's the Principal Quantum No., Subshell, Orbital and...

Another day perhaps.

I sense you are dozing off too.

Ciao homies.

Another Attendance Affair

My tooth ache has gone and I am happy. You never know how fortunate you are to have a set of teeth that is functioning perfecly fine until one day, a wisdom tooth decides to grow and mess up your life. The tooth has not appeared yet but the swelling has subsided by a considerable amount and if the pain is gone, that nothing else mattered.

But, I am starting to feel a little pain on the right now.

Anyhoo, today in college, we had a period to meet our CT and that was when the Maths HOD, I think came into our class and reprimanded us. And it was not for something that we even did. So, apparently, the attendance list for lectures are extremely vital that the teachers actually bothered to look through it religiously. I've always thought attendance list is just a show, you know, a kind of non-verbal threat to warn you not to skip lectures.

Oh anyway, so what happened was there was 1 Maths lecture where the CG did not receive the attendance list and none of us signed our attendance. But then, this teacher came in to class this afternoon and 'accused' our whole class for skipping lectures. Quoting him, he "was not too happy".

Firslty, how can a group of 28 young adults be missing from lectures and nobody happened to realise that there are 3 rows of empty seats in the LT until one teacher decides to look through the list and find ludicrous comments against our names?

So, he threatened to not let us go until the culprit who wrote things like "sexy", "pretty", admitted and it turned out it was a guy from our CG. Pretty dumb la.

Then, the teacher further complicate his own job and our lives at that moment by 'accusing', yes, again, the people who had the silly remarks against their names for playing truancy and thus not being in the lecture and failing to sign our names.

Just when I thought my life is getting a bit too dull.

Anyway, I've been thinking too much and it striked me real hard this time- I don't really want to study in a JC.

hate is a strong word, but i really really dont like you.

Attendance

So, it's confirmed. I am in Soccer again. I'm actually quite happy, I think. I'm in this whole cycle of not feeling anything; just like the time during the PAE results. No, I think I am very sleepy. Aaah, that has to be it.

Anyway, my lessons started at 145pm today but being the unfortunate subject of education slavery, I had to defy all the laws of logic and dragged myself to college by 730am to just have my attendance taken then make my way home just like how a happy goober would half an hour later.

It may just be me but I seriously do not see the point of having our attendance taken in the morning if you don't have lesson the following period. I mean, I can not be there for morning assembly but I can be in college for lessons and still get my attendance taken during lecture or it may just go the other way- be in college for morning assembly but ponning lectures but still had your attendance taken. It sooo does not make sense la for the love of God.

Okay, maybe I am just still bitter that I had to wake up at 6am to attend lesson at 145pm.

So far, the only subject that I am enjoying sincerely is China Studies. No, I'm serious. I am not mocking cheena... no, I mean, China. But in all honesty, CSE is the only subject that made me want to have more. Like, gimme more... gimme gimme more. Hell, that sounds familiar.

We studied Taoism today... Jealous much? And, we touched a lot on religion and philosophy and how the two are different but are always misinterpreted to be similar. Taoism began as a philosophy where according to its set of beliefs; it doesn't matter how you pray or who your pray to as long as your head knows and your heart believes. In fact, Taoism is often associated to the origin of the Chinese just like... how the Pope is associated to Roman Catholic. But, somewhere along the way, there was this guy who has a very difficult Chinese name that my Malay memory has difficulty remembering, changed the Philosophy of Tao to the Religion of Tao. So, it is now a religion.

I can go on about the different deities and the mythology of Pangu really but I guess I shall not bore you any further.

Chemistry is making soooo much sense now and note how I am not being sarcastic. I finally saw the light and all the mole and back titration and redox la are actually not that difficult. But, Physics is getting a tad tougher for me probably because I have not done any revison but alah... Alevels next year. Hah.

The only thing I am looking forward to other than Friday is Term 1 Vacation. Maybe they should consider having a vacation every alternate week.

don't rescue me

Worthless

The tooth is still not giving in. I really wonder why the hell do we need a wisdom tooth for. Teng and Yap Seng told me wisdom tooth is equivalent to your appendicitis- It's there but it serves no purpose. Soong said the tooth is the most succeptible to decay and thus extacting it should be the decision.

And can somebody please explain to me why is the tooth even growing in the first place and while it is at that, it's literally making it's presence felt by making my life a living hell?

6 in every 7 people I talked to cannot fathom my agony since their tooth virtually 'popped up' painlessly after they woke up from a long night sleep.

The world is fair.

Anyway, I have already submitted the Council Application form today with a really... disturbing picture of myself. Not that I looked disturbing though I know you are counting on that but it was just that I have no recent passport-sized picture of myself with shoulder-length hair so I thought technology may just do the trick.

Searched through my pictures folder and found one appropriate image and sent it to Theo for printing. I guess the ink was not really good so my face turned out like a ghost. You know, the kind of ghosts they have in horror movies during the Hungry Month Festival.

But, I digress.

What I wanted to say initially was, I just thought I should try for SC since I've been doing it since my Primary School days thought they called it Prefectorial Board. It's something I am familiar with, I guess and familarity is always very comforting to me. But, I'm not putting up my hopes high cause from what I heard, there's quite a number of applicants and there is an interview we have to go through.

But, honestly though, my main concern is the rally. It's something new to me and I guess it's really hard to appeal and get votes from a whole bunch of people you hardly know. But, I'll worry about that when the time comes later.

Anyhoo, I cannot remember if I've mentioned this- my PAE GP teacher is my CT now. Which simply equates to YAY!

You know, I actually came here because I have something worth mentioning but after I rambled about my tooth, it just slipped my mind. I'm losing my memory, I swear.

Oh, Chemistry and I are getting along better now.

Help Me

This will be a quick one cause I have to go to mosque in a few minutes.

Finally, I have hung my TK uniform and that was it. I miss folding our sleeves cause in Sec 1, I swear I thought we were the coolest bunch la cause we were allowed to fold our sleeves when it's like an offence in other schools. I really thought I was cool. Then again, I was young and foolish and everything odd seems cool to me.

But, I never really liked the colour of our skirt. It was very... green. You know what I mean, right? No? But, I like it that it is wide at the bottom so you can sit any way you want without feeling exposed and I can cross my legs like the guys. Its very very comfortable.

I cannot even sit comfortably in MJ skirt because first, I do not know how to sit in a skirt like that and second, I do not like to sit in a skirt. And don't even think about crossing your legs la! So, it's quite uncomfortable for me but other than that, ... no there is no 'other than that'.

Got my Subj. Comb and it was the same as PAE. Now there's 28 people in my class and I do not even know half of them. And, I think there are 3 Chinese scholars which means difficult names to remember which means will not remember their names which means will not know them cause they all look the same which means I will pretend I know them.

I'm contemplating on Student Council. But, I'm still a bit uncertain. I think I may stay in soccer but if I decide to join SC, I have to go through interview than the whole rally thing. And, I'm really nervous when I have to talk in front of a large group of people I do not know and then there's this whole thing of not making it for the rally. And yeah, the whole hoo-hah about councillors will have no time to study.

Okay, I'm not helping myself now.

Help me.