This is for you.

These past few days have been somewhat dead and the 2 things that keep me alive other waking up at noon everyday are, first, the word "cleavage" in the chapter alkenes cause for no reason, I understood the whole oxidation crap easily. And second, the drama in my life.

I know, I know. I'd said my life was dead but yet I had drama? Cause it's the drama exactly that killed me.

Omg. I need to shut up.

Anyway, like I've said, I caught someone cheating. And don't ask me what kind of cheating it is cause I really have no idea how to categorise it or label it for that matter but I assure you it's nothing too macro or micro. Nothing like having an affair with a stripper/gigolo and if that is macro or micro to you, I won't be there to judge!

But seriously, it's cheating all the same and knowing that the person have betrayed your trust, that's painful. And I don't know, maybe it's because this is the first time someone did something he/she promised to stop doing behind my back, I find it extremely hard to face the person again. Not because of disappointment alone, it's because I would lose my temper and like many people have mentioned, my sarcasm in anger is venom. And I would say things I don't mean but I'll just say it all the same just so I could kill a part of you.

That's how monstrous I am when rage takes over and I dont want to be doing that to someone I really care about.

Anyway, the other tragedy or drama or whatever you want to call it is that, my sister is not living with me anymore. And yes, I'm the only child but I have a cousin who lived with me ever since the doctors cut her embilical cord and I regard her as my sister. It's 15 years now.

I knew it was coming and I was kind of prepared for the news whenever it would hit but when it hits you, you realise you can never be prepared.

I can't just live my life the same way I did since forever and pretend that everything is normal when you do realise the girl who wakes up earlier than you to bathe to go to school is no longer there. You cannot go on pretending that she would be home when you come back from school or get someone to go to Mr. Prata with you or pick a fight with you and in the strangest way, make you feel normal. Make you feel the person you are. At least, I cant do that.

And Adik, I know you watch this space and the only time you will get this from me is now. So listen good. You have no idea how depressing it can be to be the only child. And when you are just that, all you want is a sister. You are just what a younger sister should be- selfish, irritating, kaypoh and dumb and the times I've spent with you when we were little to now are the memories I will hold dearly. I know, things got a bit rougher for a while now but I tried to make you feel better all the time you are here but I'm not really good at that. Study hard for your Os. Do well. Do you remember the time I stuffed chili into your rice and tea and when you ate your rice, you almost died and then you gulped down the tea, your face was all flushed? And your 9th birthday when you gotten a strawberry cake and all we did was eating the cake with bare hands and smearing on our faces? And you said, this is the best night ever? And when you came to MJ's open house and waited till night for me and demanded fish n co? Now that you are permanently back with your family and your sisters, don't forget you have another here. Funny thing is you are just 15 minutes away from me but I'm just not ready to let you go. You are the sister I never had. I love you kentot.

2008 suck balls btw.

Help me out here.

How do you let someone know that you know that they are cheating, without telling them directly they are?

You drop subtle hints and you see that person fidgeting at every instance. And you know that's affirmative.

How do you trust them again?

17 years on and I think this is my first real-life crisis.

I need to stop being so lazy.

For the past few weeks, I've been sleeping at 3ish in the morning and wake up only when the clock strikes 12pm. And then I'll play with my hamsters for a little while, like 2 hours and then eat (not them, but real food). And then, I'll laze around for a little while than do some work. Then at night like 930 I'll be in my room watching tv all the way till 3am and the whole thing repeats.

Best.

And I hate the time of the month. I'm so pms-y this month. It annoys me so much. And my stomach hurts so much, it annoys me even more.

And the only thing I've been doing a lot is just chemistry. Half because I have to at least finish some of the work and another half because that's the only thing I am decent at. Hate it or love it, it's still chem man.

I'm really just rambling.

Should I watch yes man or bedtime stories?

And oh this may be a BIG surprise to you (HAHA) but I really hate physics. We are like water and oil, we just dont go together. I'm just gonna die if I cant pass my alvls.

Omg. My stomach hurts so much. I dont know if its that time of the month or it's time for me to poop.

Ok la. Don't be naughty. Bye.

H-O-T.

End of discussion.

Sup bitches!

Go buy toto now cause I'm doing my chemistry and maths assgn now. I swear after what seems like years of not doing any academic-related work, the genius mind is gone. Gone with the wind, I tell you.

Haha, like it's been there the whole time.

I think I can do Maths A levels paper already. No, really. Say there are 20 questions in a paper, the duration then should be 20.5hrs. Do your math (but don't bother if it is as powderful as mine)- that's how short I take for each question.

Bodoh nak mampos.

And somebody has got to put a stop to those people issuing chemistry hw.

Like, excuse me, how long did you think our holiday was? Like we have only 1 agenda as we wake up every morning what. No need to go out and waste time outside. No need to feel happy. Like we sitting for only 1 A level paper next year what.

So, the whole of tys, 2 tutorials and 1 worksheet really appear to be insufficient. I swear I thought they would snail mail us more work to be done. I'm bawling for more!

C'mon chem dpt, you can do better than 2 parts to a holiday hw. Like seriously 2 parts only?! Why didn't you throw in like 3 or 4 e-learning lectures or something, you innovative people! I have never felt so deprived of chemistry since forever that I feel the need to combust.

Oh look. Chem joke! Must have had a little too much chem these few days, but how could that be right?!

Oh god. I'm so tired being so lame.

Me: Ba, lets go wild wild wet.
Dad: Ah, dont want ah. I dont like that place.
Me: But u've never been there. You loser la.

Later...

Dad: Eh, how much is the ticket to wet wet wet?

HAHAHA.

My mom is addicted to Bubble Breakers on my phone. So if I dont pick up your call or answer smses immediately... now you know why.

I'm getting so bored. Twilight was incredible.

I've found another thing that pisses me off.

Low quality, thin foolscap paper.

Like there isn't enough pulp to go around.

Yeah, global warming is real. Homework is real too. Revision is real too. And if I don't pass my A levels, that's gonna be as real as real can get.

And I'm gonna be real mad.

I cannot believe I am blaming global warming for my laziness.

I amaze myself every day.

I just came back from a family chalet and now, I'm dead beat.

You see, just 48 hours ago, I convinced myself this doesn't get better. Good company, good food, good gossips, good fun.

Then 48 hours later, I realised, things do got better. Less than a month to school reopen and virtually no work is done. Yet.

The good fun is now completing everything before the morning assembly bell goes. Now, got kick.

See, morning assembly sounds foreign already.

Another real life evidences of how bodoh I can get.

You see, since I've been deprived of any real excitement for quite a while and by that I mean choosing to take on physics with my puny brain or trying to solve some maths questions without trying to literally crack my skull open, I decided to do my homework. After not touching no books since the last day of Promos.

This has got to be so exciting, right?

Yes. And sad. And depressing. And angry. And then vulgar. And then giving up. And then a string of what-ifs. Like, what if I get married now, maybe that's easier. Like what if I not go to school anymore. Like what if I stop getting so annoyed over things that don't matter and move on to things that do. Like how to get my hamsters to wake up, like checking if my other friends are alive and well, like checking if my phone's fm radio is doing a-ok.

And then, because Amalina is a freaking genious that she herself cannot stand, she decided to abandon her homework and listen to ghost stories on the radio.

It's on RIA, a malay station and now because Amalina is scared out of her poor mind, she decided to blog so as to channel all the fear away. And not very deep inside, she knows like that is gonna work.

So now not only am I the most stupid girl on the planet, every noise I hear now scares the shit out of me. The recipe to a successful future.

And seriously, ever since I've been to JC, I've thought about getting married more than I ever had in my whole life. Don't care who, just married.

That's scary on a whole new level.

The Nice China Uncle

I have a friend in China. Like my own homie.

No, seriously.

So, you see, I bought this bag at 75 yuan although the selling price was 180 yuan. And you guys know the drill there- bargain till you get it for free. Okay, that's not it. But the point is, they anyhow whack prices there so you have to know your rights as a consumer. Okay that's not the point either. The point is everything there is very cheap so if you make it cheaper you come back with a lot more things.

Anyway, the uncle who sold the bag was not a Han Chinese but I don't know which minority group he is in. The thing is he is super duper nice and nice and you know, there's just something about his sincerity that cannot be put into words. I almost did not want to bargai for the bag- that's how nice he is.

And when I wanted to go off, I told him he was very handsome and nice and then he said, "Ya, handsome but no money". Omg, very cute right.

So later, Eileen wanted to buy a bag as well and I brought her there and so this uncle earned more and I was already very glad for him but when Mr Yeo and the rest of the people wanted to buy the bag from him, I was beyond glad. I was so freaking over the top. Like the cow jump over the moon kinda thing.

The point is, I discovered the truth when people say you'll feel good when you make others feel better. And I discovered that in China. But, nevermind that.

And, check this out. He gave me his namecard. Like I can die happy already.

Ni hao ma!

This is what I was expecting Shanghai to look like:

Dirty road with psycho traffic. Very few sky-high building. People fighting at night. People spitting everywhere. People digging their nose. Thick air pollution that will choke me. People cannot speak English. People speak English in Chinese, if you know what I mean. Very cheap things there. Bak Kwa everywhere.

This is what Shanghai was like:

Dirty road with psycho traffic. Everywhere sky-high building. People talk like they were fighting night and morning. People spitting everywhere. Thin air pollution and foggy only. People cannot speak English. People speak English in Chinese, I know you know what I mean. Very cheap and expensive things there. Bak Kwa, i'm not sure.

I gave the Chinese such little credit la, I swear. But, this trip kinda shifted my views a little and straightened my stereotypical thinking of the China and Chinese I had created in my mind. Lets not get into details.

I'll do a proper post once I get off my bed but don't count on it cause I'm not moving too soon.

Let me tell you about the best part of the trip. Shopping!

My bargaining skill is the bestzzzzzz. I own China already.

These are the things I memorised before the ultimate shopping trip. Pardon the han yu pin yin. I'll just type out what I thought it sounded like okay. Haha.

Gun ya, tou sau?( auntie, how much)
heng kui ah! (very expensive ah!)
wo pu yao ah (i dont want)

This is the secret I used to get a 180 yen bag at just 75 yen. Dont tell anyone!

Update later!

The two things I am afraid of at this moment other than not waking up on time are first, something untowards happening to my hamsters and second, getting lost in China.

Other than that, my luggage is all packed. By my mother. Haha. I gave in to her so I let her pack all the clothes she wants me to bring. Anyway, it is so nice to be going away cause my parents are being extra extra extra nice to me. I think they worry I may find China is home.

So, till I see you darlings again. Until then, goodbye world.

Ciao.

I've been tagged by Has to do this thing here and usually, I won't be bothered. But because today, I am bored and I am hungry and also terribly angry with my mother, I will do this. Just for the record, I have legitimate reasons to be angry now unlike most days.

Okay I need to let this off my system. You see, China trip is like 6 days short and I'm bringing 7 sets of top and bottom and more for everything else that goes underneath it. Not that you are the least interested. The point is, my mom thinks I'm way underpacked.

You people do the math okay- 6days. 7 sets of clothing. Underpacked or nicely packed? Huh, you better say nicely packed.

But, I'm just so goddamned irresponsible and lazy that I haven't even started packing yet and my mother is being so bloody nice by ironing my things and putting my stuff in the luggage. And here I am complaining. Bodoh la ama.

But, still nicely packed. Period.

Rules & Regulations:
1. Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little facts as well as state this rule clearly
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names
*NO TAGS BACK!*

Before I begin, 10 would not suffice. (and in no order okay. im good all the same)

1. When I was in P3, I got a little adventurous when I saw my father's shaver and because puberty hasn't hit, the only place the shaver would go was... no, not the hair, too overrated. My eyebrows. I cried so bad and I went to school for close to a month with botak left eyebrow and on the pretext I fell and hit my eyes and my eyebrow was ripped off. Retarded since young.

2. In sec 3, I was on this personal campaign to see how long my fringe could grow and so when I went to snip the top part of my hair and the mofo hairdresser accidentally cut my fringe so friggin short, I cried all the way home. HAHAHA.

3. When I was young, I used to cry in front of the mirror. Just thought I look more pitiful that way.

4. I cannot sleep without a blanket. No matter how warm the night is, I need a blanket.

5. This is slightly disgusting. You know when you eat mee soto or something like that, your saliva will somehow become thicker right. Right. I like to let my saliva hang off my lips just to see how long it could go. And, I'm pro at this.

6. I cried when I watch Lion King, Finding Nemo, Narnia. And I make fun of my mother when she cries watching Korean shows.

7. Actually, I kinda like twisting and breaking some part of my bones. Like the ankle and the arm. It makes me feel stronger. Haha.

8. I talk to myself most of the time I am alone. Okay, all the time.

9. I only appear extroverted but I just like my time alone and I actually am a very very very extremely shy person. No, really.

10. When I was young, right up to Sec 2, the only thing I wanted to be was to be a boy. No, really. And I watched this movie when I was in Primary 4 where this girl slept underneath the stars and next morning, for some strange reasons, oh vagina no more. Hello penis! I believed it could happen because I was young and naive not stupid. I wanted to be a boy sooo bad.

And Ama tag:
1) hugh laurie
2) patrick dempsey
3) barack obama
4) pamela anderson
5) ryan stiles
6) ellen degeneres
7) katt williams
8) paris hilton
9) adrian pasdar
10) just to see if stupidity is infinite... bush.

In case one of them doesn't reply, you guys can take his/her place.

1) fong.. the boyfriend snatcher
2) atiqah
3) istilah
4) kehui
5) daryl
6) rico
7) jessie
8) huiqi
9) you
10) and you too if you are interested.

OKay dah. Tired sak.

Hello! If suddenly any of your bodies decide to go psycho on you and be so undecided on what temperature to stay on for a decent 24 hours or so, come to me for consultation. So you see, because of that virus thingeling a few weeks back, I can get fever so suddenly and then be normal again a while later and slip back into hotness (literally) a few hours later.

The end result:

1) Nose bleed
2) Swollen gums

Anyway, I'm going China in like what... 3 days, okay technically 2 days and I haven't even packed! Oh.my.god. Since when did I turn into a sloth? A very good sloth at that.

So here's the deal. China. Me. In less than 72 hours, I think. And darling, this is no joke. Are you listening to me? This is C-H-I-N-A. I may never come back the same person again and you know that would be a great loss to the institution that is the universe.

I'm freaking out now. But because I'm so goddamned lazy, I'll worry after I watch TV la.

And oh oh, people are starting to study already la. And what have you been doing ah amalina, shop shop shop. And if got money not that bad know, have to search all over the house for the ka-ching. And wake up la loser, recession year know. Spend money like your father's money.

Okay, actually it is.

I have to redirect my life. Get my shit together. I have to realigned my priorities cause it's fcking screwed up la. You know it is when watching House is what you do first thing you wake up and last thing before you sleep and revision is never in the daily agenda.

and on your list of things to do, is make me fall in love with you

So, in the end, we did go Ikea. You know, I'm beginning to think every single thing there is so pretty that it actually fools you into getting them although there is no apparent reason for it. Like for example, I bought this thingy. Okay 2 thingys from the "home organisation" section and you see, for someone who has been in my room, they know that is exactly where I should head to.

Anyway, so, I bought this really nice organisation thingy that hangs down your wardrobe and you're supposed to get its separate drawers kinda thing, which I got 4. And, in the end, it doesn't fit the height of my wardrobe.

Oh wait for it. It gets better. And then, I bought another organisation thingy that I intended to fit into my drawer in my wardrobe so I could sort my earrings from my purse from my socks from my sweater from my hamsters... you know that kinda thing. And in the end, (on 3 everyone!), it doesn't fit.

Like I want to slaaaaap my beautiful face know.

This whole thingy got me thinking that I actually fight for the things that I am told I cannot get although I need it for absolutely nothing. My aunt actually told me not to get the drawer organising thingy because it will collect dust and for all I know, cockroaches will make porno there (she didnt actually said porno, i took the liberty to infer) cause I have this strange habit of never closing the doors.

I never really liked it that much though but because she went on and on and on about it, I decided to get it. Just because I could.

Like tonight, we were out for dinner and I was so freaking famished, I couldn't care less where we were heading to. Then I told my mom and she said no and my father said no after 9 minutes I asked the question and 8 minutes my mom said no. And I wasn't really that angry but I decided to get angry just for the fun of it and my father said no again when I actually didn't say anything and my mom finally gave in about 45 minutes later.

And I wasn't really craving for ramen. It's because I was bored and it was so much fun to see my father getting annoyed over trivial things and my mom finally giving in after a long long arduous fight. And to see how long I could push this nonsense... oh trust me, I'm damn good at this.

Oh my god, now that it is written down, I.am.a.freaking.monster. I sound so manipulative... almost verging on psychotic. Alamak.

But go try it out on your parents. Its quite fun... and this is coming from someone who thinks not bathing for a week is the coolest shizzzz. Go figure.

I need to stop being so bored.

Hellooooo.

Holiday is the shizzzzzzz. I like having to do nothing cause it keeps me occupied. But, there's like a million things to do afters but I'll worry about that when the time comes.

I'm supposed to go Ikea now but my father is taking a nap and my mother is feeding the hamsters and here I am. Damn annoying la this family.

Watch this!



It's in malay though but these kids are damn cute right! Macam toyol! Hahaha.

I miss writing in Malay. I think I will do that in my next post.

Ah, stupid post.

Move Over, Stiles.

This is what I've been busy with:


Okay, so you cannot see who that is. How about this....

Look at how sexy, suave, charming, insanely gorgeous, smoking hot and his eyes are just.... out there. It's like they are flirting. Hahaha, I want to think so.

Hugh Laurie is my new shizzz. I have fantasies about him. Okay, no.

Actually, I've been secretly liking him but I didn't tell anyone hence a secret. Cos, he's old and he gets so ridiculously fhksdjfhkdsjfhdskfhsk sexy when he's grouchy on House.

And, he's so fucking sexy. Have I said that?

But, I'm coming out today.

Haha.

According to my laptop, I have 16% to do this before the battery dies so lets do this fast.

So, I've been missing for a while and that's because of 2 things. One, I had a fever like I said but things get out of control and I'm talking 40.1degrees celcius out of control here and my whole family has this strange virus thingy and my mother was hospitalised. So in a nutshell, I was too lethargic and what else, lazy. Second, I was lazy.

But, now, I'm okay, not great okay. Just sneeze, cough, oooh, i'm seeing double, oh, no i'm fine okay. Yeah, so that's okay I guess.

Since we are talking ill-fortune here, lets just stick it to that.

J1 bash was so so much better than I expected or we expected for that matter. But, note to self, don't try to be hero and emcee with a fever. Only thing on your mind is to get off the stage alive.

My hamster, Cobbles, being the darling that he is, bit my index finger. No, actually, he always does that so when he bites me a little on my finger, I will carry him up and so he dangles in mid air. And, he loves that. Just that, the other day, he bit my finger softly while I was talking to my Aunt and I didn't realise. Next thing I know, BAAAM! Bit a part of my finger where the vein was and now my right palm has this subtle blue bulge. Hurts just a little though.

Oh no, 12%!

Oh, remember the skin centre appointement I was talking a few months back? I'm having a minor surgery this coming 2nd January! It's not really ill-fortune cause I've been wanting this surgery but it's a surgery so I just thought I should be a little scared.

And oh, China in 9 days! I haven't packed anything, prepared nothing and I'm going to the land of Mao!!!! Oh my god, this is so exciting! I love all the cinones and bak kwa! Okay, no not really.

And I finished all this at 11%. God, I'm good.

Let me give you a peek into my syiok day tomorrow.

0745-1205 Lectures (with a break at 935)
1400-??? OGL meeting
1600-??? YEB rehearsal

Oh sure, all that is nothing. Really, what is working back to back from 745am till god knows when, been there done that.

But, try having a temperature of 38.7degrees celsius, a head which threatened to split any minute, higher frequency of cough than actual breath, aching bones and getting cold and hot at the same time.

Now got kick ah.

I'm just saying, this is my shiiiiaat!

The last time I talked to a friend in need was when her teacher thinks she was being too involved in boys at one time and threatened to let her parents know. And, of all other candidates, she chose to me to get sound advice from. And being the most perfect person to give everyone the best solution, I told her, "Let's pretend we are a couple and you are involved with boys just to know which side of the game you on,".

See, this is the kinda solution I dispense. I put myself in double the problem the friend has and I put the friend in the most uncomfortable position. And, I still don't find that strange.

Just had a convo with a friend with a phone dilemma. The phone is pretty neat, the more I looked at it, the more I see my Omnia moving away.

No, that isn't the problem. This is... there's this promotion thing going on and tomorrow is the last day and he needs to raise 200dollars. And he has 100dollars. And we have no solution. Oh, if you are thinking of one now, trust me darling, it won't work.

So, being the most perfect person to ask a soultion from- again, I offered to let him have my money first. Now, this is what I see from where I'm standing. I want him to get his phone but I don't have that much money, well if you count a few purple notes and some coins much money in the first place.

So, I was praying so hard, pray, pray, pray, that he would say no, and realise I just wanted to help but had no capacity to. I prayed so hard; it was the longest 3 seconds of my life.

Oh, don't you be giggling at me. I was just being a friend! A friend with kosong brain.

And, phew, he typed the most beautiful no in the most beautiful font ever.

Alright, gonna sleep now, with my purple notes and coins under the pillow. Toodles!

This Friday is down down down.

I've never felt rotten on a Friday.. not since ever. But, today I do.

Plans were busted. This and that... Now I need to find something to do to fill my boredom. Like for example yesterday, if I were bored, I could watch and google Barack and Michelle Obama. But, today I can't cause all the articles, all the youtube videos... been there, done that darling.

And when I feel like the world is turning into a dark evil place, I seek solace in Katt Williams but now I can't because I've watched all his stand-ups, memorise all his lines. I just have to run them in my head and I'll start laughing.

And if all is lost, there's always PW. But, that ugly bitch is over. It's like a funny feeling, I kinda liked its over but I wished it linger for a while, just a little while for me to savour the moment. But who am I kidding, goodfuckingbye PW.

I think I'll start cleaning my room. For real this time. I just don't know where to begin in that shithole.

Catch ya later, alligators.

I haven't had PMS for the longest time. But today I am just pissed at everything that constitutes this blurdy world.

Listen to my innermost thoughts...

I want to clean my room so bad. I really do. But, no bullshit here, I am just damn lazy. Too lazy to even clear the stacks of papers on my table. Oh, but I really want to file things accordingly, maybe vacuum the room, paint the room a darker shade of purple and install a plasma tv on the wall.

But, I've got no money. No energy.. maybe I do, but I am just too fucking lazy. See, this is what Ikea does to you. Everything in that bitch looks so pristine and perfect and just the way it has to be and when you come to your own room... you're like, "Hell no, I'm not sleeping in this shit,".

Maybe I should go Ikea again tomorrow night just to feel sorry for myself.

I reminded my Mom and aunt they were thirsty and they should go to the kitchen when in actual fact, I find their conversation very annoying. No, it's nothing personal, I swear. It's just the blood discharge that makes me hormonal.

I really want to be Katt Williams. Haha. I remember all his lines. Damn, I'm obsessed. But, no, I really want to be him.

I'm worried about J1 bash. Fazall and I are emcees and I have set a quota for myself, if less than ____ number of people are coming, I will just take over the stage and become Katt Williams. I swear. I'll do all his lines and and and, I'll curse like him. Oh by the way, Katt curses in the most beautiful tone.

If that genius calls you a motherfucker, which he and 23182731 other African American comedians, it'd probably sounds like, "oh baby...".

I want to buy a cat. I think I will just sneak a cat home one of these days. I'll just say he needed to pee real bad.

Whatever la. I'm angry for no reason.

Haha.

I am so glad that Obama wins. It used to be a matter of being a potential African American president to me, then to how freakishly handsome he looks when he rebutted McCain but now, it's just about how I feel he has proved himself worthy of the throne.

And you know, when he came out to give his speech, he looked so calm like the fact he was the president-elect has not gotten to him. I think that's what attracted people to him cause it appears he sincerely wants this change to happen and I'm so very glad America got it right this time.

I knew I had no chance of being president when I started feeling bad for McCain during his concession speech because clearly I work on emotions! I think I only felt bad cause he was old and this had been such a long journey for him and the fact that the Republicans knew it was coming their way since Bush kinda fucked up the office.

But, seriously though, can u even bear to imagine Palin as the VP? I'll slit my wrist and turn emo and die, die and do it all over again.

Anyhoo, back to the reason why you even bother reading my blog. Because you are so interested in my life! Haha. You know, I never thought I will keep this blog going for such a long time. I'm a lazy lazy genius you'd ever known what. But, I'll save that rant for another post.

The 5 minutes we had were pretty fast; I stood there, talked, talked, waiting for the first bell to go, then it did, then I panicked, then I lost my train of thoughts and then I got it back and then I said thank you. Ta-dah!

Q&A was alright but I could have done much better. But, I'm happy as it is.

But, the story for today is not about me or Obama... it's about this China boy, lets name him X. And, he isn't that other China boy in my group cause he was punctual and cooperative so thank heavens.

So, X being X which means he is a dirty (literally), unclean, uncleansed, unhygienic and all those other beautiful words, came in late for OP! For a good half an hour. His leader was panicking cause a) he has no handphone so there's no way they can contact him and b) he's a selfish ass.

He rushed in the room in the midst of a presentation and he started slurring in his thick accent about how apolegetic he is and I lost him right there cause I really believe he started conversing in alien language with a strange China accent when the examiner denied him entry into the room.

Oh the drama has just begun.

During his presentation, now, I really really died. It was like stand-up comedy, Katt Williams would have lost hands down. He gestured here and there, spoke in English that sounded 99.9% as Chinglish (Chinese and English), had mini hops here and there and in some totally uncalled for situations, he began raising his voice to assert his points.

It was like seeing Mao being reincarnated. But, I bet to my last dime, Mao would have been a million times better to watch and listen to.

His Q&A was the bomb cause first, he only had 1 point for the question and he repeated it, para-phrase here and there for close to 10 minutes. And, the teachers didn't stop him and I sat there trying so hard to hold my laughter. And he was so eager to leave but apparently, he had question number 2 to answer.

Can you freaking imagine the pain I had to go through? I needed to laugh so bad, roll on the floor but all I could do was bite my tongue with my shoulders vibrating due to my restrained laughter and there he was, standing so inoccent, ignorant of his surrounding and started to repeat his point all over again.

Good comedy bodoh! If I had balls, they would have shrunk.

I think he's a born comedian. He doesn't need to have materials to prepare, just open the mouth, and you have the stand-up comedian of the year.

I concede defeat.

Shit, I really really really want to keep a cat.

And, Youtube has such cute cat videos. Shiiaaaaat!

I.WANT.A.CAT.

I.WANT.A.CAT.

I.WANT.A.FREAKING.CAT.

It's close to 1am and I'm feeling for this patient on the operating table on Grey's Anatomy, who's getting his heart operated on while being wide awake. Oh the pain. I cannot even stand a needle in my arm and now we talking metal things in my heart? Gotta pass that.

Anyhoo, the real pain now is planning for Orientation. It's so torturing, I swear I can go through 4, okay maybe 3 rounds of heart surgeries back to back. It's really not about the event that you are planning because most of the things are up to you but the other things that are not up to you bite your ass really well. Like uncertainty of when a freaking event will be held, like shifting events from one day to another.

It sounds pretty okay here but oh trust me, it isn't when you get down to the real shit.

If you are coming into Meridian next year, you better bring your ass to Orientation and like it or not, you better like the Finale!

Talking about council work that I have to face less than 8 hours before I am awake is making me not to want to be awake. Urgh.

Anyway, I need to ramble cause I drank coffee just now and my eyes are so wide awake. It's always awake at all the wrong time but give me a Phyics notes to read now, the eyes close. No argument there.

I discovered something about myself of late. I think I am an animal lover. Yeah, others just knew it, I had to take 17 years to find that in me. I love my hamsters; I cannot imagine if one of them just die when I wake up.

No, actually, I can, it'll be just like Pebbles and Frabbles.

Then, everytime I see a cat, I have this urge to always carry it home. The only thing stopping me is my mother's scream and my father's nag and perhaps, my hamsters becoming food for Weewee. That's my imaginary cat's name by the way.

Okay, rambled enough. Sleep!

I'm beginning to get very busy. Again!

It's the same ole shit. Orientation and then PW. PW and then Orientation.

Oh speaking of which, let me please bitch to you about PW. I've seen how my other friends have found such therapy in bitching about PW, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon.

No, it's not about that China boy I've loved to hate because lets face it, I don't give two hoots if he wants to do his work or just eat bak kut teh all day, all night. And oh, did I tell you how he scared the hell out of us when he said he was migrating to Canada! Yeah, I was supposed to be the happiest girl on this warm planet but if he did, we won't be able to do our OP. Now, that's tragic.

Anyway, my PW tutor (topic of discussion today) is a really really nice person. As in he's full of warmth and so eager to actually help us get thru this hell, I've got to give that to him. But, you see, he has this impression that I always let my council work take priority over my PW.

Now, now, sir. If you know me well enough, my PW takes precedence in everything I do during this period of time but I am a councillor, so there is no running away from council work. And that means I have to juggle both and that can be so draining.

But that's not the point.

Just because I wasn't with my group in the beginning part of the day for 2 days during the OP preparation, he thinks I am SOOOOO tied down with my council work that I am just so weak and pathetic that I have to let the rest of my group do my share for me. Well, he didn't say weak and/or pathetic but if you have an over-active mind who grabs exaggeration at every possible instance, you would have thought likewise.

Now, now, again, sir. I will never stoop so low as to push my share of shitty work to other poor souls and if you recall during the WR period, who was the one who emailed you 3 nights in a row the updated WR at 3am?

And even then, I had council work to complete too.

I mean, yeah I was wrong not to be with my group for that 2 days but I came back with my slides and all done prim and proper. It was just that there was some urgent council work that had to be completed immediately and if I were to choose either one to do at the moment, it has to be the one that needs my attention most. You would have so done the same, I just know.

But, really don't get me wrong. He's really really nice as a person/teacher. He is the type who goes the extra mile for each of his student and he really doesn't mind. Really funny guy.

And, I'm a feeling very guilty for writing all those but urgh! I thought this is supposed to be therapeutic.

For those who are retaining/leaving, seriously guys, your lives are so much more than this. Be upset cause that is only natural, cry out loud if you have to but don't wallow too much in self-pity. Bounce back. Come back stronger than you were and shove this fucking system down their throats. It's not who you were that matters, it's who you choose to be now that does. Shit happens y'all but honestly, the most fucked up shit may just turn out to be the best you'd ever get.

I may be the last person you ever want to take advice from, I don't blame you. I never believed anything I tell myself 85% of the time. And, you can say this shit isn't happening to me so it's easier to say all this but I've had my share of this kind of pain and the only way to come back is to bounce back stronger.

A wise wise man once told me, "It's how you bounce back that shows how strong you really are".

I belive with my whole life in that.

I want to be a stand-up comedian

So, you know, I've been terribly busy with so much things of late that I cannot even decide what to do most of the time. I have PW, council things, managing my damned eyes which just refuse to open whenever I'm in front of the laptop except for times when I am surfing Youtube. Don't you come crying to me your life sucks.

But, seriously, I think I have a new ambition now. I used to want to be a teacher when I was young but when I reached puberty and my mind has reached its capacity to observe and infer, I observed that 9/10 times, teachers look and feel miserable. I, then infer, I was and in fact still miserable being in the system and there's no fuck in hell, I'll ever teach.

Which reminds me of something Ryan Stiles said in a show when asked what he would say if his daughter wanted to be a teacher. Genius replied, "Even prostitutes earn more than that, darling". LOL.

But, I love my teachers. (just to be safe here)

Then, I wanted and still want to be a psychologist. And then my mom said, "You cannot even handle yourself you want to handle others. Psycho can ah". I love my mom btw.

But, now, I have a new ambition. I want to be a stand-up comedian. No, asswipe, that wasn't a punchline. The only punch you gonna get is coming from my fist cause that's my current ambition. Don't judge!

I won't stand though cause I tremble a lot when I have to do some public thing, so I'll sit. I have stage fright and nobody in this godforsaken world believes me. You see, being able to talk and being comfortable on stage are different from having no stage fright.... I think. I'm comfortable on stage after a while but I have stage fright and everytime I'm talking especially in school, my mind is a beautiful mess and my heart just pump it man.

Anyway, go watch Katt Williams on Youtube. He is my friggin' idol now.

Until I have a new ambition, the only thing I want to become now is Katt Williams. Minus the hairdo.

A Loooong Post

So, how long has it been since a proper post? Brace yousrself for a looong post.

Last year, on my birthday, I came home from school and I found out that my parents had bought a surprise birhtday cake for me. And you know, if they bother to keep a secret like this, the least I could do was to be surprise. The problem was, they do this every single year! And every year I have to be surprised.

And that same day, they said they wanted to make my 17th birthday a real birthay. A party. A cake. Friends and Family over the house. And I told them, I don't really like birthday cake, not into the party thang. Just want a silent celebration with the family.

And silent it was this year. Woke up last Friday with 22 smses on the phone. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had not silent my phone the previous night? I would have woken up 22 times in one night!

Anyway, no cake. Nothing. And I thought to myself, "Baik ama. Baik. You said you never really like cake and look at what you get. Nothing!". No actually I get this from my father, he smsed "happy birthday. you old now ah, remember".

But, really, the dinner at Breeks later was good so, who actually eats a birthday cake eh?

And this is when I become a lucky bitch. I had fever on Sunday and my WHOLE family and oh, trust me when I say WHOLE, we Malay people have WHOLE family, the mother's sister, the mother's brother's and the wife's and the children and the mother's another brother's and the cousins' and the wife's and the husband's and the postman. God, I swear it is like that.

I can't even remember what I wanted to say now. Oh, so on that Sunday, we were over at my Uncle's place, don't ask which one cause I will take 2.5 hours to explain to you. And so when you have fever and you are in a Baju Kurong and it's a hot day, you get really extra easily irritated and even the Mee Soto is not appetising anymore. See how bad it gets to you.

But, when you hear the happy birthday song and a whole 'legion' of your cousins coming out from the kitchen with a birthday cake, all the fever and the headaches were dispelled! Moral of the story, when you have fever, ask your loved ones to sing happy birthday to you.

No what I'm saying is, I'm blessed to have people who actually love and care about me cause I'm really not an easy creature to be fond with. Well I am if you actually find annoyance, taking ugly photos, talking non-stop, making fun of people who are angry at me aka as my father and mother and all that shit really cute.

And this doesn't really matter but since it's worth 120dollars I have to mention this. The cousins got me 120dollars worth of Esprit Gift Voucher.

Guess who loves Esprit and guess who's going shopping this Saturday?

Again, been very very busy. Terribly busy. Will do a proper post soon.
Have to show you guys what I got for birthday. Not a lot but it's really really nice.

And,

Jessie, sorry for still not having our Ikea date!
Hassy, sorry on Monday!

And, Fong, I've never written a similar post like that. You must have travelled into the future like Hiro.

Damn girl.

This really won't make much sense but I have to type this out so as to clear my thoughts.

Sarah used to tell me that whenever something terrible happened and I was supposed to get upset, I don't but instead I get angry. And I used to think that it was a good thing cause I thought getting upset is the worst anyone can get emotionally and I am too afraid to go there.

But now, I realise that my fear of getting upset has been hindering so much things so far and I'm just too afraid to step out of my comfort zone.

Oh goodness, I admit I don't know where I'm going with this either.

This is what I meant to say actually. So, there's this little something that is going on and I'm really happy with it and happy is such an understatement. I really want this little something to happen for real but, here is the deal, I'm not sure if this little something is really something or if it is just nothing.

You get it? Good.

And I'm already on the excited phase and if I let myself go any further, chances of being upset and getting hurt will subsequently rise. And you know, I'm afraid of getting upset.

Forget all this.

I saw something that made me panic a little, okay, a lot and here I am writing funny nonsense.

It's 230am, so none of this actually makes much sense.

But, I really hope this little something is not nothing.

I feel like punching my gums now. Don't you?

17 years on

Happy Birthday to me!

17 years of life and so far,

1) fractured an arm. done.
2) sprained ankle. done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done.done....
3) tore a ligament. done.done.
4) went thru at least a surgery. done.
5) fall down unglamarously. (i cannot write the same number of 'done' to account for this)
6) embarass myself. (same thing)
7) committed a crime (heh heh, u rmb)
8) matured in thinking (i like to say yes but sadly, no)
9) make ppl laugh at my jokes (they laugh at me. good enough la eh?)
10) have great family (the best there is)
11) have great friends (oh hell yeah)
12) grateful to Allah (every moment)
13) became a better person (there's a limit to how good a person can be yaw!)
No no, but seriously. I want a white dwarf hamster.

When I was 15, I thought, shit I'm getting so old and before I know it, I'll turn 40 and have soon have menopause and then wither and die. Okay maybe not that exact thoughts but you intelligent asses get my drift. And my friends know that when I was 16, which happened not to be too long ago, really, I really liked it if I don't get reminded of my age. Cause in all honesty, I fear turning old. Really.

Whatever la with the saying age is just a digit. It's not just a digit! If it is, people don't turn cranky, become so.. you know, old-ish, turn dead and eventually dead. Sometimes, I used to forget I was 16, I used to think I was 14 then.

If you are anything lesser than 17, be happy now cause your day will come to turn this old. If you are more than that, you should just prepare for menopause.

I'm kidding.

But, I just don't like being old. Really.

Happy to still be living nonetheless!

(thanks guys for the smses so far :) )

The thought of getting a new white hamster is lingering on my mind.

I saw 2 cats playing together this morning and i thought they were extremely cute. Now, i think i want to keep cats. I'll call one of them Pee and the other Poo.

I'm doing WR in school now but my eyes are heavy.

The pink tights/panties conversation is still making me laughs. In buses.

Mr Lye said the PW dept said our WR is sitting on an A.

Life is good. Better if i can sleep now.

So, my mum got really tired of my left foot not being able to move every other hour, she took me to a Chinese physician.

Now, my left foot plus my calves plus my right foot plus my calves are full of bruises.

But, I can run a little now without that stabbing feeling on my left foot.

Much much better than physio, if you ask me.

China, I love you.

Promos

Here's to another year of waking up miserably in the morning, sitting restlessly in tutorials and dozing off endlessly in lectures when all you really want to do is stay home in bed with curtains drawn and the aircon on!

Results were okay la. I mean when your goals for Promos are just to get E for everything, hell, results are supposed to be superfragilistic...(something something)!

I got C for Physics but because in my final question, I accidentally present my answer as 2s.f, they deduct a mark. And, my C happened to be just on the dot so with that deduction, I'm sitting on a D.
But, this is my paper and my work. So, screw it. It's a C.

GP essay was exceptionally well but my comprehension pulled me down. And I need 1 mark to get a B. And you guys already know how I roll, so screw you C! (it's a B.. B..B *chants*)

Chemistry was just pure work of luck. E on the dot.

Maths was an utter disappointment. Heart-wrenching. The paper was fair but since stupidity flows in my every pore, I got E. Bodoh like nothing.

CSE is another disappointment alright. From B to S. And Ms Fauzana wrote this, "Disappointing. You should be doing much better". My exact sentiment as well.

Since there isn't any U and I fulfill the Promotion criteria, i think, I should be wearing that super hot uniform for another year.

And to think I actually made plans on what to do should I screw up my Promos. And, funny thing is, I kinda like these plans more than I like to go on another year.

But who cares what I like. This is Singapore.

Same time as yesterday.
Same shit as yesterday.

My arms started to itch just when I decide to stop doing WR.

Goodness.
Hotmail being anal again!

I'm sleepy and angry now.

PW thoughts

I was just thinking, how you know these PW teachers grade your work by Below Expectation, Meeting Expectation and Exceeding Expectation.

And their expectation of us is that to "exceed expectation".

Ironically, the very nature of "exceeding expectation" is to have a goal and not having any plans to actually go past it. Meet it, perhaps but never to go past it. So when you actually go beyond your plans, you exceed your expectations. Hence, you fulfill the condition that is to surpass your own expectations.

It's supposed to be a surprising kinda thing. Unplanned. Unexpected.

And so when they tell us to "exceed expectation", that by itself is their expectation of us. And, there is no way we can exceed their expectation of us because their expectation is for us to exceed their expectation.

Okay, I lost myself there.

But, think about it.

1) WR is frankly quite fun to do. Maybe because it is 3am and I'm doing WR now.
2) I miss Frabbles so much. :(
3) I feel worse when I see Cobbles playing alone on the wheels. :((
4) Got a couple of my papers back. So far, okay. Will update when I get everything back.
5) I am very very sleepy.
6) Hotmail is being a slut. Won't attach my WR.
7) I miss my best fwen.
8) Liyana is making me come for the Hari Raya thingy. But I have SC and WR.
9) I kinda miss Liyana. Kinda because I know she watches this space.
10) I'm too sleepy now.

I miss you already

In Loving Memory of Frabbles
100707~041008

I'll miss you so much.

Everyone will.

Especially Cobbles.

I'll miss how you always stand whenever we walk past you.

How you always run for food and then run away with them.

How you always manage to escape from your house and come back when we call your name.
How you always get so excited when you start playing with tissue.

How you always climb all over our hands when we clean your house.

How you always fight with Cobbles to sleep at the corner.

How you always fight with Cobbles to sleep on the same wheel though each of you had one.

How you always took the nuts in Cobbles mouth when you had another in your hand.

How you always are so smart and cover yourself with the cloth whenever you sleep.

How you always look so ugly when you wake up.

How you always smile when I tickle your head and you tummy.

How you always look up when we call your name.

How you always choose to ignore me when I was throwing food at you.

How you always look at me whenver it is just the both of us in the cab when we are going to the vet.
How you always shrieked whenever Cobbles fought with you.

How you always lie on top of Cobbles and will never move.

How you always stand with your head on the wheel while sleeping.

How you always took all the ikan bilis so Cobbles will have none.

How you cried when you had injected and when blood refuse to stop flowing.

How you always sleep in Mak's hand.

How you remain so strong even when your tumor burst. Again and again and again.

How you became even stronger when your left hand became paralysed and still very naughty.
How you lie in my palms on the last night while I fed you water.

I love you kiddo. I love you so much, Frabbles.

PMS

Today is MJ's Open House and everything ends at 6pm.

And I barely had 4 hours of decent sleep and this is not because I chose to stay awake, I was just wide awake.

Urgh. I feel so PMS now. Maybe because I do have that now. URGH. It sucks when you have eggs.

I hate the cramps. The back pain. And all the other pains that come at all other places. And the terrible terrible thirst.

See! I am sooo PMSing now. I am just gonna ramble.

And the bloody 'shift' button decides to go anal on me.

One of my 3 hamsters, the youngest of the lot, the one with the name Frabbles because in Sec 4 I thought naming my hamster after a name inspired by an element from the Periodic Table was the coolest shit on earth, have blood cancer.

And we brought him to the vet and they did some mean things (taking his blood, painful thus mean) in which Frabbles cried. Like really cried. Like with tears and all. And he shrieked. In pain. They figured he would never make it by Hari Raya but shortly, his tumor burst and now he's really tiny. And he keeps bleeding. Now, his left hand, where the tumor used to be is paralysed. But he is still so upbeat and adorable and annoying in his own ways.

You see, he is in such excruciating pain that as painful as it is for me, I rather he dies cause at the very least he stops suffering. But, I don't want him to cause it's so hard to let go something you really love and care about. I took quite a long time to get over Pebbles' (my first hamster) death.

But each time he runs around with 2 legs and a hand, nothing tears you up more than that.

Okay, all this is not helping my PMS. I'm making it worse!

Play with the hamsters now!

I am so random

I miss this space like crazy.

Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya!!!!

I am soo rich and happy right now that if you ask me to pay for something, I would.

Anyway, left this space for quite some time cause at first there was promos and all then when the fun was all over, I was too busy doing nothing, I had no time to update or bathe. Seriously.

The last time I stayed home for close to a week all in the noble cause to save water in Singapore. And I went on 6 days unbathed, unsoaped, unshampooed and uncleansed. But, I change everything la. I just didn't bathe.

And, on the seventh day, I spent 45 mins bathing, shampooing 4 times after conditioning 6 times, putting shower gel every minute, exfoliating 2 times and brushing my teeth twice before bathing and another 2 times after bathing.

And I figured, in that 45 mins, I used more than I would have if I had bathe for 6 days.

And I have no idea why I am letting the whole world in my best kept secret.

I digressed.

Promos was promos. Chem was Chem. And that is that.
I'm looking forward to finishing the damn PW, go China!, prom duty, JC1 bash, orientation stuffs and quit for the whole year!!!

Okay, I'm tired and sleepy.

My First 'Crime'

Just a really quick one here.

I got fined for jaywalking. Yeah, that's right. How bodoh right?

I mean of all 'crimes' I could have done, jaywalking had to be it. It's not even glam la.

So now, my name is with the traffic police as one of the most possible citizens to ignore the existence of a colossal piece of shit concrete you people call 'overhead bridge' because yours truly find it more practical and time-saving to just cross the road.

And it's not like I dashed across the road- I waited for the road to clear and by that I mean, no cars, no lorries, no trains, no rickshaw for at least 50m before hurrying to the other side of the road. That has got to count for something eh!

Hurhur. Whatever la. It was my fault anyway.

But seriously, the 2 policemen were waiting for me under the overhead bridge and I can bet till my last dime that they were so freaking happy that I jaywalked. Cause finally there's some action.

Talk about being worth the wait.

And funny shit is I told so many people that I want to commit like a small harmless 'crime' before I turn 18 and nahh, take this amalina! Bodoh sia. It's not like I advocate crime but I mean, if you are gonna do something about it, better make the best out of it.

And I wrote countless compositions when I was in P1 and P2 about people getting fined for jaywalking and confidently I told my English teacher then, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Which idiot would get fined for jaywalking? It's just too stupid. "

Baik baik.

Chanel no5 For Sale

This is 100ml Chanel No5 Eau De Parfum. Just bought- packaging plus plastic wrapper still intact. Counters are selling this off at S$200. I am selling this off at $150. Price is negotiable, contact me if interested. Thanks!


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Anyway! I am selling my perfume off cause I decided I do not want it. Okay, I am such a liar. It's because I decided I wanted Chanel Chance instead and it will be pretty dumb to have 2 Chanel fragrances at the same time. So, I'm letting this go to get the other one.

Actually, just quote me a reasonable price and I'll sell it to you. Reasonable enough for me to get the other one.

Oooo.. like "The Price is Right" eh!!

Darlings!

Been very busy of late.

Y'know, with studying for promos and fiddling with the omnia, figuring the omnia, flaunting the omnia and things like that...

Nah, I'm kidding. Studying isn't going much as plan but hey, at least, I got some going here. And, I pretty much realised, I cannot do Physics to save my life. If I am at gunpoint, I rather you shoot me than ask me to do some forces and dynamics question. Either way, I'm dead already.

Let me tell you what mah bitch (omnia) can do.

I can write my sms.
I have the accelerometer shit so the screen thingy kinda move in any direction that I go.
I can reject my call by just flipping my phone downwards.
I can...

A lot more. But of the thousand functions, those above are the only ones I figured. Whatever, slow and steady wins the race!

If anyone of you knows anything else, enlighten me okay!

And I realised that a few of my post talked about my dad but this will be the last one, I promise!

Dad: Alamak, the shop close la. (some apek electronics shop)
Me: Okay, lets go 7-11 now.
(dad walks fast)
Me: Ba, can walk slower not?!
Dad: Hurry later the shop close!
Me: ...

Convo

Friday night:-

Me: Ba, i want an iPhone.
Dad: whats wrong with your phone now?
Me: whats right about it?
Dad: how much is it?
Me: 600ish with contract.
Dad: you think i print money is it?
Me: yes. wtv, you suck brotha. HAHAHAHA.
Dad: ....

Saturday:-

Dad: Lets go to the Apple shop.
Me: !!!
Dad: its 1000 plus without contract.
Me: ya, a bit too expensive eh?
Dad: iphone sucks la. what other phones you have in mind?
Me: omnia but nvm la.
Dad: we go singtel shop now to see if they have.

Later...

Me: sooo, are you buying me a new phone?
Dad: you think i print money is it?

Today:-

Dad: (called home) im at changi singtel now. the uncle said iphone sucks. omnia can?
Me: ohmygod. you getting me new phone today?!!
Dad: ya but iphone not good la. a lot of problems and very expensive la.
Me: you really getting me a new phone today?!
Dad: ya quick. omnia quite good la.
Me: expensive not?
Dad: dont care la. you like not? or you still want iphone? but iphone very bad.
Me: ohmygod. i like omnia. i want.
Dad: okay.
Me: thanks ba. you suck ah ba. buy changi nasi lemak also please.

I Want

I know that are supposed to be on my mind now is organic chemistry, waves and vectors and what to do if I screw the promos. You know, things like those.

But, I have real problems to solve like how to get that 125$ mango top in spite of inflation, where to go for dinner later and most importantly...

Iphone or Samsung Omnia?

Both are almost alike but I'm leaning on Iphone but I'm thinking I'm doing that just because Iphone is the shizz and I may not really like it. Omnia is the practical choice but you know... It aint Iphone.

Urgh. I hate having to take sides.

Clinic Joke

Down with fever again.

Yesterday, when I was throwing up in school, my vomit came right out of my mouth and my nose too. That got me really really scared. And the nose hurts really really a lot.

Sorry council couldnt go for rehearsal today and decor!

In clinic this morning,

Doctor: Anwar won many votes ah.
Mom: Ya and I don't like.
Doctor: Now there's no more mee rebus in Malaysia. Got sodo-mee (sodomy) only.

HAHAHAHA.

i have no title

Watch me contradict myself.

I think I may have hope in Physics. Not a whole big fat hope; just a teeny weeny little hope. You see, there was this lecture test that not many did well in and surprises of all surprises, I got a 11/25 for the paper. And if I had not been such a pussy and evaluated my answer for total energy, I would have gotten a 13 thus a pass.

But, that's not the point. The point is, Ms Wong stamped this "Improved" thingy on my paper and I was quite pleased, definitely. And, when we got back our Oscillations assignment, I passed again (a rarity, I swear). And she commented that I'm proving and she has confidence in me.

How to give up like that?! And she is really a dedicated and caring one so you know she's sincere about it and not just smoking. God, this is really hard now!

And you know what's also hard?

When your dad is very nice to you.

No, I love my dad. I tell him "I hate you" and "You suck, brotha!" before laughing hysterically at myself because these have no impact whatsoever on him. That's how I say I love you. Probably a little different from how you do it, eh?

So, he got this lobang and he smsed me in the middle of Physics tutorial with 3 pages worth of perfume brands that I may be interested in. And, I thought it was pretty funny because a) he spelled Calvin Klein wrongly and b) he loves to nag when I take his money to buy perfume.

Now, this is where it gets tough. He asked me 2 perfumes that I wanted in case the first one is out of stock. And he chose 2 also. So, he called his friend and he ordered both the perfumes I wanted and only one of his.

"Love is buying 1 perfume so your daughter can have 2"- my father.

How to tell him he suck like that?!!

Respite

Finally!

I missed this space a little actually. Haha. How have you been? Cause I've been fucking great!

No, don't believe me this time.

Many many things happened that are worth mentioning but ironically, none is in my head right now. All I can think up there are dy/dx, cis trans, optical isomer. Cause that's pretty much what I've been doing this week. Yes, that only. Pro, no?

Oh! I and alongside with a few of my classmates (I know it has to be my classmates and I, my English is perfectly fine but I need to stress that this happened to me, yeah whatever, don't judge) were locked out of Chemistry tutorial today!

I was pretty scared at first cause I've never been locked out of first, my room, second, my house and third, any class. So, it's only natural la but slowly, I got the kick of it. And, it was pretty shiok to the extent of being a great joke. We freaking stood outside and looked through the glass window panes and kept ourselves busy with 38123812271273129873 number of isomers that can be formed from one molecule.

And, seriously la. I'm not complaining or giving up, okay maybe on the verge of hoisting the white flag but please la, I'm just a girl. Yes, I have boobs, not brains to do Physics. I just cannot do it and oh no darling, don't you dare do your thang and say "You didn't try hard enough!" cause if you are a guy, what do you know about having boobs?

And, if you are a girl and a) your knowledge of Physics extends widely to the usage of vernier callipers, I suggest you back the hell off. b) you take Physics and you are doing extremely well at it, good for you girl, but no, not everyone can be a freak, can we?

That being said, the reality is I'm doing Physics and boobs or not, its Physics to the end. And, that doesn't change the fact that some of our brains just refuse to process if the the acceleration of the apple is upwards or downwards, eh?

1 month to promos!

Organic Chem kills.

2 hours of Organic Chem slaughters.

Will do a proper post soon. Been busy!

Human Labour

What happened this morning further reinforced my point that PW kills.

So, the group met up for some last minute meeting. Oh wait, no it was 3/4 of the group cause the other one apparently was too sleepy to even wake up to join us. Yeah, that's right. Sleepy. And the other 3 of us are so goddamn awake, filled with such fervour to drown our Sunday morning with this horrible existence that just wastes our time day in and day out. Otherwise known as PW.

And, this isn't the first time our group has been fuctioning as a 3 person group.

I don't know why I'm typing this here anyway but it just pisses me off that while the rest of the group are trying to meet deadline, some asswipe can choose to just not wake up.

I had something else to say here but all that "excitement" from above has distracted me.

Anyway, keep them tags coming darlings! Will reply very soon!

Pip Pip

Honestly, I think SPA is just a joke. Just a big fat joke. Just like PW. Just like the system. Just like my life (because it revolves around the system).

All you do for Chem SPA is just memorie 2 full pages of results and during the actual exam, you go in, pipette a little of this, let some gas out, read a little of that, draw some line on a grid paper then vomit everything you've memorised the night before. That is the kind of education my father is paying.

For Physics, all you do is set up the experiment, don't even bother doing it, seriously. Insert some data in your table, so long it confers to the accuracy and by that I mean decimal points and significant figures, you are well on your way. But, Physics is tougher and tedious. But, it's still a joke.

My point is, other than exercising your memory and boosting your brain power, all this is just a waste of chemical solutions and time.

Anyhow, Ms Wong said during Phy SPA trial just now that she would talk to those who scored single digit for their recent test. And, yours truly, of course, was mentally prepared for a string of questions ranging from, "Did you study or not?" to "Why, want to be retained is it?" that all I said to my ruler while drawing my extreme line was ,"Who's your daddy?".

Turned out, I scored double digit but still, S. Surprising. Sarcasm. This is the product of getting U for almost all your Physics tests.

I am supposed to be doing my research essay now, which does not explain my presence here. But, screw it la. I'm just really shagged from this whole damned week. When tomorrow is over, that will be the happiest day of my life in 5 days.

CCP, here I come!

Ciao!

Mao!

Confirmed already.
I'm going China end of the year.

Mao, here I come!

I'm having the biggest problem with CSE right now. Bloody research essay la.

I've been harping on my "social" point for god knows how long and then I realised "social" is onlu 1/3 of my total points but I've already used 600 over words and it's supposed to be a 1000 words essay.

Bodoh man.

My brain hurts.

So long suckas!

Incoherent

Have you ever held your pee for the longest time, say from 0800 to 2330hrs and with each passing moment, you feel your bladder threatening to give way, your tummy bloated inches by inches, your mind starts playing funny games with you and when you finally let it out, you know you wanted it, you needed it- the shiokest feeling ever?

Well, I have.

Seriously, peeing like that after holding back for lightyears is damn satisfying, I can safely say it feels better than sex. With the assumption, of course, that sex is more painful than it is pleasurable. Okay, who I am kidding, the only thing I know about sex is that it brought me here.

Anyhow, spent the day doing Chem's solubility product at Changi T2 and met the TK boys by chance. I miss them la cause I miss TK.

GP lesson is okay but Mr Chiang is dearly missed la.
I've forgotten Circular Motion.
I have problems with Chemical Kinetics.
I have not touched my CSE notes at all since beginning of term.
I've been doing Gravitation but still fail the goddamn quiz.
I've been doing vectors and hopefully, I'll pass.
I pass my first Chem test in MJC. Thank God.
And, Promos, I ain't ready. So fuck the hell off.

No, I don't mean that.
Just back the hell off, okay, Promos?

Okay. I miss writing in Malay.

come as a friend, as a tramp.

I Need New Music

Let me give you a sneak peak to my life this week. Pretty cool shit, I tell you.

Monday: 2/3 of WR to be ready/EOM to be almost perfect
Tuesday: -
Wednesday: Physics Lecture test/Chem A level SPA/stay back for SC.
Thursday: Maths Vectors Test/Phy SPA trial
Friday: Physics PBL presentation/due for research essay.

Don't you wish you were me instead?

Week 8 is gila babi. Like seriously. The week has not even started but I'm all poised for it to be over.

The only things I have done are 1) Physics MCQ 2)teachers day proposal 3)half of research essay (and knn, this took me the whole day. Okay, half a day cause I only started at 6pm). How to make it like that ah?

Anyway, there is the CSE trip to China (duh) in late November and I'm still contemplating. I want to go but I don't at the same time. It's like China, yaww. I've read many things about them, heard stories about their emperors and rulers, say nasty things about them though all of them are really funny shit, make China jokes and now I'm going China.

Man, I don't know. Should I?

Okay, China can wait but my Great Wall of China list of things to do cannot.

Bye, Mac.

Bernie Mac just passed away.

Oh my god.

Gary and I were just talking about him.

Rest in peace.

Sea of Red And White

I am at Bugis, drowned in National Day Songs while typing with great fervour (at least I like to think so) my PW.

I love PW so much that I'm willing to forsake my nation's birthday. Talk about sacrifice!

Teachers' Day proposal must be in by tonight.
PW doing now.
CSE research essay do later.
Die very soon.

For all the sacrifices I (and the rest of the millions of children) have to make at such tender age to get an A, for missing out my childhood days, for giving me so many reasons to hate being here, for giving me so many people to love cause I'm here, for making me take the cab because I am just lazy despite the exorbitant prices, for making me pay so much for GST and left me wondering where the "good service" comes from, for making my father earns so much and pay so much more for bills, for giving me shops to shop at but with no money, for making me laugh on a daily basis on our idiosyncrasy, for making me wonder really hard if I'm willing to stick my ass around here when I'm 21, for giving me the best yet ruthless education and for many other reasons, Happy National Day!

Now, I'll do PW again.

Thanks Singapore for this brilliant initiative- PW.

The air is so positive, I have no plans on being sarcastic tonight.

Another Rant

When was the last time you wake up in the morning and you truly feel life in your every pore and your heart beats so fast in excitement, awaiting for the day ahead?

Mine was when we were still writing on walls of caves.

I have so much to complain about, I just don't know where to begin. There's this thing about school and then another about school and another one and one more and the list just goes on.

I used to love to hate the idea of going to school but now, I abhor the whole idea of hating school because that would mean thinking about school for a second or two and that I find highly disturbing.

Anyway, PW is still PW and that entails string of profanities. But, if I may risk being a weirdo for moment, I'm kinda enjoying PW a lot now. As much as EOM sucks my balls (figure of speech, don't have any), I like the whole idea of evaluating someone else's work and then you criticise it. Well, some prefer to concur with it but hey, where's the fun in that?

My EOM is something about MOE and at first I had reservation about criticising the Mecca of education here but when I was told I could do it but not overly, that's when I found the joy in PW.

And, I'm guessing that is not one of the aims they had in mind when the implemented this big joke we call Project Work.

Anyway, I have another CSE research essay to do. I've secretly enjoyed research essay just like I enjoy EOM but seriously, this is not a good time. On week 8, I will have a Maths Test, a Physics test, due for CSE research essay, Chem SPA, Physics presentation and perhaps something else I subconciously missed out.

But, the HOD of Chemistry said something about how we should know that Chem SPA takes precedence over everything else. So, that pretty much summed up what I'm gonna do for Week 8.

Tomorrow is the first day with a new GP teacher and it's a she. I never really liked language teacher with boobs. If I'm really unlucky, I'll get the old ones and that's extra reason to skip lesson cause they are usually very draggy and anal about everything.

If you are my new GP teacher, please do not drag the class, do not demand we do our work on the spot, do not time us when we do our work, do not nag, do not repeat yourself every 5 seconds, do not be yourself (especially if you fit the description above). *this list is not exhaustive.

Goodbye,

I've never been the best with goodbye and this time, things aren't any different.

To my horror, today was Mr Chiang's last day and when I read his text in Maths Lecture, I was just like, "Oh God, no...". I don't know what kind of "oh no" it was but I was just really dreading it; like I knew it was going to happen eventually yet I constantly am running away from it but it caught up now.

I am beyond sad. Like, distraught. Like, a loss. A real loss.

Now, nobody will sms me in school to collect notes before GP!

Mr Chiang is gone la. Oh my goodness...

I'll do a proper post after I nurse my sorrow.

No, seriously, I am very very sad now.

Mr Chiang, I hope you like the card we made and oh well, we didn't make the pizza but hope you liked it! Gonna miss you so much! Have fun at your new workplace tomorrow!

Rude Awakening

I'm thinking of going on a hiatus. And, packing my laptop and place it in the store room so I will never ever be distracted again.

Man, I don't know. If only I had more discipline... No, not really.

Anyhow, Ms Lai's talk this morning was a rude awakening to this whole big fat lie I've been living in. How I told myself, I'll make it for Mid Years, even if I were to screw up, how badly can it get, right? Yeah, mid years fucked me good man.

After the Meet The Parents, I've realised that this time, I'm really in the danger group and retaining may just be the outcome at the end of the year. You know, if that should happen, I probably drop out and go poly instead and do things that I am passionate about. Maybe Psychology, Tourism or Media. I really don't know what had stopped me at the beginning of ther year.

I mean, if I have to retain la. Then again, I won't let it happen.

Promos is in 7 weeks and I'm still like this. Concept like shit, body just lazy to put in the effort, mind that just wants to sleep. Fucking wake up la. You think your father's school, is it?

On a totally irrelevant note, finally got the Leader's shirt. :)

Nooo!!!

Mr Chiang is leaving MJ!

Yes, Mr Chiang as in my favouritest favouritest GP teacher in the whole wide world!

OH MY GOD.

The sadness is too overwhelming; I just couldn't go to school today. (i couldn't walk today because of the ankle actually)

Who the hell will teach me GP?!!!!

Nobody teaches like Mr Chiang does. Nobody, you heard me.

*bawls*

Oh goodness. The tragedy.

This Is For You If You Feel The Pinch

I had pizza for lunch, after lunch and now I really need to shit. But, it's not coming out yet so here I am.

Tried to study/complete homeworks just now but the afternoon heat is too overwhelming to the point it had become a distraction. So, I swtiched on the air-con hoping it'll give me a comfortable environment but nope, too cold. And again, distraction.

So, I'll just wait for evening; when the sun is gone, the temperature just right and I start wasting my time away reading notes and practising things that would not have mattered in any way. Or, what you guys call "studying".

Anyway, this thing has been gnawing at me for some time and it's about time I say this. I really detest people who regards their lack of proficiency in their Mother Tongue Language as a sign of their superiority to the others who actually are much better in this area than them. I have plenty of friends who are very gone case with their Chinese/Malay but I don't find them repulsive because they acknowledge the very fact that they are more comfortable with English than their MT but they never belittle their own language or for that matter, their own race.

Seriously, it's one thing to be not good at it but it's another thing altogether to go around and profess it with such air that only makes you look no better than a cunt. Truth is, you are just saying you don't care about your MT because you don't produce grades and because you are such a dickhead, you stoop so low and pretend those who are much better with the language are deemed "backwards". And this whole time, I only had one person in my head.

I got news for you brother. No matter how much you claim you are way better than your language/race or how deep your wannabe English poems get, none of that change your roots or who you really are. And by the way, don't flatter yourself too much cause those people will think twice, thrice before taking a second look at you.

I think some of my close friends know who I'm talking about. Haha. I didn't even mean for this to be so angsty but oh well, you can only ride your feelings man.