This is for you.

These past few days have been somewhat dead and the 2 things that keep me alive other waking up at noon everyday are, first, the word "cleavage" in the chapter alkenes cause for no reason, I understood the whole oxidation crap easily. And second, the drama in my life.

I know, I know. I'd said my life was dead but yet I had drama? Cause it's the drama exactly that killed me.

Omg. I need to shut up.

Anyway, like I've said, I caught someone cheating. And don't ask me what kind of cheating it is cause I really have no idea how to categorise it or label it for that matter but I assure you it's nothing too macro or micro. Nothing like having an affair with a stripper/gigolo and if that is macro or micro to you, I won't be there to judge!

But seriously, it's cheating all the same and knowing that the person have betrayed your trust, that's painful. And I don't know, maybe it's because this is the first time someone did something he/she promised to stop doing behind my back, I find it extremely hard to face the person again. Not because of disappointment alone, it's because I would lose my temper and like many people have mentioned, my sarcasm in anger is venom. And I would say things I don't mean but I'll just say it all the same just so I could kill a part of you.

That's how monstrous I am when rage takes over and I dont want to be doing that to someone I really care about.

Anyway, the other tragedy or drama or whatever you want to call it is that, my sister is not living with me anymore. And yes, I'm the only child but I have a cousin who lived with me ever since the doctors cut her embilical cord and I regard her as my sister. It's 15 years now.

I knew it was coming and I was kind of prepared for the news whenever it would hit but when it hits you, you realise you can never be prepared.

I can't just live my life the same way I did since forever and pretend that everything is normal when you do realise the girl who wakes up earlier than you to bathe to go to school is no longer there. You cannot go on pretending that she would be home when you come back from school or get someone to go to Mr. Prata with you or pick a fight with you and in the strangest way, make you feel normal. Make you feel the person you are. At least, I cant do that.

And Adik, I know you watch this space and the only time you will get this from me is now. So listen good. You have no idea how depressing it can be to be the only child. And when you are just that, all you want is a sister. You are just what a younger sister should be- selfish, irritating, kaypoh and dumb and the times I've spent with you when we were little to now are the memories I will hold dearly. I know, things got a bit rougher for a while now but I tried to make you feel better all the time you are here but I'm not really good at that. Study hard for your Os. Do well. Do you remember the time I stuffed chili into your rice and tea and when you ate your rice, you almost died and then you gulped down the tea, your face was all flushed? And your 9th birthday when you gotten a strawberry cake and all we did was eating the cake with bare hands and smearing on our faces? And you said, this is the best night ever? And when you came to MJ's open house and waited till night for me and demanded fish n co? Now that you are permanently back with your family and your sisters, don't forget you have another here. Funny thing is you are just 15 minutes away from me but I'm just not ready to let you go. You are the sister I never had. I love you kentot.

2008 suck balls btw.

Help me out here.

How do you let someone know that you know that they are cheating, without telling them directly they are?

You drop subtle hints and you see that person fidgeting at every instance. And you know that's affirmative.

How do you trust them again?

17 years on and I think this is my first real-life crisis.

I need to stop being so lazy.

For the past few weeks, I've been sleeping at 3ish in the morning and wake up only when the clock strikes 12pm. And then I'll play with my hamsters for a little while, like 2 hours and then eat (not them, but real food). And then, I'll laze around for a little while than do some work. Then at night like 930 I'll be in my room watching tv all the way till 3am and the whole thing repeats.

Best.

And I hate the time of the month. I'm so pms-y this month. It annoys me so much. And my stomach hurts so much, it annoys me even more.

And the only thing I've been doing a lot is just chemistry. Half because I have to at least finish some of the work and another half because that's the only thing I am decent at. Hate it or love it, it's still chem man.

I'm really just rambling.

Should I watch yes man or bedtime stories?

And oh this may be a BIG surprise to you (HAHA) but I really hate physics. We are like water and oil, we just dont go together. I'm just gonna die if I cant pass my alvls.

Omg. My stomach hurts so much. I dont know if its that time of the month or it's time for me to poop.

Ok la. Don't be naughty. Bye.

H-O-T.

End of discussion.

Sup bitches!

Go buy toto now cause I'm doing my chemistry and maths assgn now. I swear after what seems like years of not doing any academic-related work, the genius mind is gone. Gone with the wind, I tell you.

Haha, like it's been there the whole time.

I think I can do Maths A levels paper already. No, really. Say there are 20 questions in a paper, the duration then should be 20.5hrs. Do your math (but don't bother if it is as powderful as mine)- that's how short I take for each question.

Bodoh nak mampos.

And somebody has got to put a stop to those people issuing chemistry hw.

Like, excuse me, how long did you think our holiday was? Like we have only 1 agenda as we wake up every morning what. No need to go out and waste time outside. No need to feel happy. Like we sitting for only 1 A level paper next year what.

So, the whole of tys, 2 tutorials and 1 worksheet really appear to be insufficient. I swear I thought they would snail mail us more work to be done. I'm bawling for more!

C'mon chem dpt, you can do better than 2 parts to a holiday hw. Like seriously 2 parts only?! Why didn't you throw in like 3 or 4 e-learning lectures or something, you innovative people! I have never felt so deprived of chemistry since forever that I feel the need to combust.

Oh look. Chem joke! Must have had a little too much chem these few days, but how could that be right?!

Oh god. I'm so tired being so lame.

Me: Ba, lets go wild wild wet.
Dad: Ah, dont want ah. I dont like that place.
Me: But u've never been there. You loser la.

Later...

Dad: Eh, how much is the ticket to wet wet wet?

HAHAHA.

My mom is addicted to Bubble Breakers on my phone. So if I dont pick up your call or answer smses immediately... now you know why.

I'm getting so bored. Twilight was incredible.

I've found another thing that pisses me off.

Low quality, thin foolscap paper.

Like there isn't enough pulp to go around.

Yeah, global warming is real. Homework is real too. Revision is real too. And if I don't pass my A levels, that's gonna be as real as real can get.

And I'm gonna be real mad.

I cannot believe I am blaming global warming for my laziness.

I amaze myself every day.

I just came back from a family chalet and now, I'm dead beat.

You see, just 48 hours ago, I convinced myself this doesn't get better. Good company, good food, good gossips, good fun.

Then 48 hours later, I realised, things do got better. Less than a month to school reopen and virtually no work is done. Yet.

The good fun is now completing everything before the morning assembly bell goes. Now, got kick.

See, morning assembly sounds foreign already.

Another real life evidences of how bodoh I can get.

You see, since I've been deprived of any real excitement for quite a while and by that I mean choosing to take on physics with my puny brain or trying to solve some maths questions without trying to literally crack my skull open, I decided to do my homework. After not touching no books since the last day of Promos.

This has got to be so exciting, right?

Yes. And sad. And depressing. And angry. And then vulgar. And then giving up. And then a string of what-ifs. Like, what if I get married now, maybe that's easier. Like what if I not go to school anymore. Like what if I stop getting so annoyed over things that don't matter and move on to things that do. Like how to get my hamsters to wake up, like checking if my other friends are alive and well, like checking if my phone's fm radio is doing a-ok.

And then, because Amalina is a freaking genious that she herself cannot stand, she decided to abandon her homework and listen to ghost stories on the radio.

It's on RIA, a malay station and now because Amalina is scared out of her poor mind, she decided to blog so as to channel all the fear away. And not very deep inside, she knows like that is gonna work.

So now not only am I the most stupid girl on the planet, every noise I hear now scares the shit out of me. The recipe to a successful future.

And seriously, ever since I've been to JC, I've thought about getting married more than I ever had in my whole life. Don't care who, just married.

That's scary on a whole new level.

The Nice China Uncle

I have a friend in China. Like my own homie.

No, seriously.

So, you see, I bought this bag at 75 yuan although the selling price was 180 yuan. And you guys know the drill there- bargain till you get it for free. Okay, that's not it. But the point is, they anyhow whack prices there so you have to know your rights as a consumer. Okay that's not the point either. The point is everything there is very cheap so if you make it cheaper you come back with a lot more things.

Anyway, the uncle who sold the bag was not a Han Chinese but I don't know which minority group he is in. The thing is he is super duper nice and nice and you know, there's just something about his sincerity that cannot be put into words. I almost did not want to bargai for the bag- that's how nice he is.

And when I wanted to go off, I told him he was very handsome and nice and then he said, "Ya, handsome but no money". Omg, very cute right.

So later, Eileen wanted to buy a bag as well and I brought her there and so this uncle earned more and I was already very glad for him but when Mr Yeo and the rest of the people wanted to buy the bag from him, I was beyond glad. I was so freaking over the top. Like the cow jump over the moon kinda thing.

The point is, I discovered the truth when people say you'll feel good when you make others feel better. And I discovered that in China. But, nevermind that.

And, check this out. He gave me his namecard. Like I can die happy already.

Ni hao ma!

This is what I was expecting Shanghai to look like:

Dirty road with psycho traffic. Very few sky-high building. People fighting at night. People spitting everywhere. People digging their nose. Thick air pollution that will choke me. People cannot speak English. People speak English in Chinese, if you know what I mean. Very cheap things there. Bak Kwa everywhere.

This is what Shanghai was like:

Dirty road with psycho traffic. Everywhere sky-high building. People talk like they were fighting night and morning. People spitting everywhere. Thin air pollution and foggy only. People cannot speak English. People speak English in Chinese, I know you know what I mean. Very cheap and expensive things there. Bak Kwa, i'm not sure.

I gave the Chinese such little credit la, I swear. But, this trip kinda shifted my views a little and straightened my stereotypical thinking of the China and Chinese I had created in my mind. Lets not get into details.

I'll do a proper post once I get off my bed but don't count on it cause I'm not moving too soon.

Let me tell you about the best part of the trip. Shopping!

My bargaining skill is the bestzzzzzz. I own China already.

These are the things I memorised before the ultimate shopping trip. Pardon the han yu pin yin. I'll just type out what I thought it sounded like okay. Haha.

Gun ya, tou sau?( auntie, how much)
heng kui ah! (very expensive ah!)
wo pu yao ah (i dont want)

This is the secret I used to get a 180 yen bag at just 75 yen. Dont tell anyone!

Update later!