This is for you.

These past few days have been somewhat dead and the 2 things that keep me alive other waking up at noon everyday are, first, the word "cleavage" in the chapter alkenes cause for no reason, I understood the whole oxidation crap easily. And second, the drama in my life.

I know, I know. I'd said my life was dead but yet I had drama? Cause it's the drama exactly that killed me.

Omg. I need to shut up.

Anyway, like I've said, I caught someone cheating. And don't ask me what kind of cheating it is cause I really have no idea how to categorise it or label it for that matter but I assure you it's nothing too macro or micro. Nothing like having an affair with a stripper/gigolo and if that is macro or micro to you, I won't be there to judge!

But seriously, it's cheating all the same and knowing that the person have betrayed your trust, that's painful. And I don't know, maybe it's because this is the first time someone did something he/she promised to stop doing behind my back, I find it extremely hard to face the person again. Not because of disappointment alone, it's because I would lose my temper and like many people have mentioned, my sarcasm in anger is venom. And I would say things I don't mean but I'll just say it all the same just so I could kill a part of you.

That's how monstrous I am when rage takes over and I dont want to be doing that to someone I really care about.

Anyway, the other tragedy or drama or whatever you want to call it is that, my sister is not living with me anymore. And yes, I'm the only child but I have a cousin who lived with me ever since the doctors cut her embilical cord and I regard her as my sister. It's 15 years now.

I knew it was coming and I was kind of prepared for the news whenever it would hit but when it hits you, you realise you can never be prepared.

I can't just live my life the same way I did since forever and pretend that everything is normal when you do realise the girl who wakes up earlier than you to bathe to go to school is no longer there. You cannot go on pretending that she would be home when you come back from school or get someone to go to Mr. Prata with you or pick a fight with you and in the strangest way, make you feel normal. Make you feel the person you are. At least, I cant do that.

And Adik, I know you watch this space and the only time you will get this from me is now. So listen good. You have no idea how depressing it can be to be the only child. And when you are just that, all you want is a sister. You are just what a younger sister should be- selfish, irritating, kaypoh and dumb and the times I've spent with you when we were little to now are the memories I will hold dearly. I know, things got a bit rougher for a while now but I tried to make you feel better all the time you are here but I'm not really good at that. Study hard for your Os. Do well. Do you remember the time I stuffed chili into your rice and tea and when you ate your rice, you almost died and then you gulped down the tea, your face was all flushed? And your 9th birthday when you gotten a strawberry cake and all we did was eating the cake with bare hands and smearing on our faces? And you said, this is the best night ever? And when you came to MJ's open house and waited till night for me and demanded fish n co? Now that you are permanently back with your family and your sisters, don't forget you have another here. Funny thing is you are just 15 minutes away from me but I'm just not ready to let you go. You are the sister I never had. I love you kentot.

2008 suck balls btw.