I need to get a few things off my chest:

1. I made a decision this year perhaps having much more effect to my A level than I expected. It was an attempt to be an adult and accountable for myself but I think I made the wrong move. And, I do not dare tell my parents because I fought so hard to win this.

2. I think I was cheated into believing that I was the only dumb one.

3. Sometimes when I talk to you about academics, I put down all the defences I have and believe you. But what you say and what happens later are always the anti-thesis and each time, I still believe you. I'm starting to believe you are one of those people you always say you hate.

4. I'm so happy that you got your life back on track, I really do. Now I'm afraid of meeting up and feeling inferior to you.

5. Sometimes I wish you were like this particular person I used to know. I don't know why but it gives me hope.

6. I hate it when my parents are very very very very nice to me out of parental love. That's because i feel very very very very terrible when im mean to them.

7. I hate it how when I use my old phone, I get reminded of you and how my heart beat so fast when I read your sms. Or when I saw your name on my phone screen and I would stop everything i was doing just to read your message again for the 52334798273th time. I moved on alright but the thought of what could have become of us if that episode didn't happen still haunts me.