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This will be a quick one. It'll be so quick... it's quicker than quickest.

Now, the word 'quick' seems awfully odd, no?

I just came to say Chemistry is giving me severe, chronic headaches. Redox used to Rox la, once upon a time, now it's like a pain in the ass. Must find oxidation state of Mn after end point la, got acidic medium la, basic medium la.

No, I was not even gonna complain about that. What I was about to say was, I had 3 Redox questions from the tutorial to be completed and of the three, I could complete one, got stucked on the second and lost on the third.

If I pass my first CT which I'll get back tomorrow, as long as it hits 50%, I will buy everyone, including you, something from 7-11. Because... it's a store and more. No, because, I am sleepy and I don't think anyone is convinced I'll pass, so I'm brave enough to make this pact.

Physics was okay other than the fact we critically analysed 1 Kinematics question and failed to interpret to a V-T graph. And now when I'm attempting it, I found something queer though I still think it's my bad cause I have lack of appreciation for the simple concept of air resistance and acceleration.

it's harder to make the wrong things right than just to make the right things go wrong

The Last Executioner

I hate waking up so early on a Sunday like at 8ish. I hate when my eyes suddenly decide to open when I still want it to close. I hate it when a message is sent to my brain that if I don't make my way to the toilet now, my bladder will burst. I hate it when I wake up without my Mom's annoying pestering. I hate it when I have nothing else to hate now.

I don't really hate many things. Really.

Anyhoo, I finished this book during the holiday- "The Last Executioner". The story is based on true events which took place in a prison in Thailand and told by the last executioner of Thailand when shooting was still in practice to carry out the death sentence of the condemned. The book goes into grisly details on how the execution was carried out from the time to the escort meets the prisoner on death row to the time the gun adjuster carried out his duty and up to the mind of the executioner on duty who would take a life away.

It is really strange because the book has so much impact on me. Temporarily, maybe but bottomline is it leaves a mark and it got me thinking. You know, your mind can get so messed up when you read about people awaiting their death in such great details in the wee hours of the morning.

I became a bit emo and thought about the things that I've done wrong when I could have made it right.The times when I said horrendous things in the fit of anger but I never meant them at all. The times when I was not the best child my parents could have wished for. The times when I could simply say 'sorry' but I chose not to. *play akon's- dorry, blame it on me*

And that was when it hit me- If my time is up today, what will I leave behind?

Sarah used to tell me that I never get upset when someone hurts me but I get angry. I used to think it was an advantage cause if I can't feel the unhappiness, there is nothing unhappy about it and my near-perfect life continues. Hah. But, I change my stance now. I wish I could feel more sad, more forlorn, more bitter. Maybe after I feel all that, I can move on and feel nothing is weighing me down and whatever that is supposed to upset/anger me will be forgotten.

I hate it when I think too much. I also hate doing homeworks.

I will now do the normal things I have always done. Spongebob!!!

after all the laughter, this is how it ends

Ciao Chow

I wish for many more days like this. I wish this day will never end. Never ever. I wish that the Chinese will extend their celebration. I wish that Monday will never come. I wish that I make more sense.

If I have 1 wish, it'll not be enough.

My holiday so far has been the most perfect and I am pretty much convinced that nothing can ruin the state of jubilant I am in now. Nothing, you hear me?! The grass seems a lot greener, the sky seems a lot blue-er, the air seems a lot sweeter and my life seems a lot perfect-er. I am still not making sense, eh.

Anyway, I came here after a friend of mine smsed me to say he was not enjoying his CNY celebration at all, only that his sms was laced with adult language and a remark that could possibly cause Mao to sit in his grave. Wait, is he even buried?

The point is, have fun you guys! It's your celebration and anything that takes school off the agenda deserves to be celebrated like there's no tomorrow. Okay, just think of it as Christmas only that you do not eat turkey, you eat bak kwa. You do not get presents,you get hong bao. You do not have Santa... And it ends right there. See, bak kwa, hong bao, not bad what?! Actually, I don't know about the bak kwa...

Anyway, I have a reunion lunch later at the Grandmama's though I would be 2 days late if I celebrate CNY.

Aaaahh, Stephen Chow!!!!

Ciao.

Lion And Oranges

I just came back from a very very long day and all I really want to do now is get on the bed with my pillow and bolster and my blanket up to my neck and feeling the chill from the aircon on my skin.

So, I had the best of both world today and I am just saying this to sound very optimistic since my recent posts have traces of negative vibes and it is always important to have the perfect balance, eh. I attended MJC celebration and I will not fill you in with my emotions when I was at the celebration since it will disrupt the balance I have so carefully perfected.

Having said that, it's not that I did not enjoy my time in MJ cause I sure as hell did and in all honesty, it was the best celebration I've attended prior to my eleventh year in the education system in Singapore.

So, we were home sweet home finally after what seems forever! We waited for the cab for 20 minutes plus and I'm telling you, it did not seem like forever, it hell was an eternity. Finally called for the cab and when we were on TK's ground and you see the pillars which were once so insignificant to you and the familiar faces of your friends under the rotunda, the $2.50 booking charge was worth every cent.

Anyway, if you are Chinese, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! GONG XI FA CAI!

And, if you are anything but Chinese, please watch some Stephen Chow movie during the holiday. He is soooo hilarious!

This post is lacking substance... the way they have always been. But, this one seems to be lesser than no substance.

i change bestfriend every week

Far From Fast

This will be a very quick and random post. I promise.

Lets start with Chemistry test. No, actually, don't let me go there cause I'll go on and on and will never be done with this post. But, just so you know, I so screwed up my paper big time! Oh my god, I'm not being pessimistic here or anything, I swear but I think I'll barely pass this paper. I have never done this badly for any Chemistry test but oh well, I guess there's always a start to everything.

But, no. I don't want this to start and since it has already started, I want it to stop. I hate failing. Especially something I am devoted to. I had spent the whole of Sunday and about a 5 hours on Saturday doing all the revision and I could do it. But, now, when it is the real deal, I screwed up. And this is not the first time I screwed up when it comes to the real thing.

I told you not to get me started on this.

Anyhoo, we had Mr Lim for Physics today since Dr. Vaz is away on course and he was pretty good as the latter. I actually managed to understand all those hype about air resistance, net force and how velocity is proportionate to air resistance. Honestly, I am enjoying Physcis more than Chemistry.

I take that back. It's an inappropriate statement.

Hoe Kiat: Cher, is the paper hard tomorrow?

Mr Lim: No. It's very soft.

Physics test tomorrow and after what happened today, I think I have changed strategy. Now, I shall just take it as it comes and not get preoccupied with the grades. But, oh, the thing about Physics is, the harder you try to understand it and analyse the concept behind it, the more loopholes you tend to find though it's just due to your lack of appreciation and thus the more confused you will be.

Anyway, many people are going back TK for this CNY, so I've heard. And I think I may go back too. It has been too long since I left TK's grounds and my heart aches just missing it. But then, there is MJC celebration and if you honestly let me choose between the 2 without actually having a punishment as to why I did not go for the the compulsory one, I'll choose the non-compulsary. Like as if you have to ask...

Oh, HELLO MR LEE! :D

And if you are from TK, HELLO HELLO YOU!

And while I'm at that, even if you are not from TK, HELLO TO YOU WHO ARE READING THIS. If you can read that, I'm saying hello to you.

CNY, who's your daddy?

Ignore that. I am excited for the loooonnnng holiday that even the thought of failing Chemistry test does not bother me anymore now.

This post is very random. But, it's not quick anymore.

It's getting too long.

Actually, very long.

I can actually digress while digressing.

Okay, stop.

Just popped in to say...

Who's your daddy?

i am that annoying

Violent Spasms

My aim for this week was to survive the week. And, I think I did. So much have happened in just 7 days that for a moment, I wanted to just accelerate to the following week. But now, tomorrow is already the 'following week' which means, school starts again, which means, I have to wake up early, which means, when I get home, I'll be tired and sleepy, which means, I will not be happy which means, I am stucked in this vicious cycle forever... and ever... and ever...

Okay, I'm bullshitting again.

I'm in this state right now because I have just completed 2 revision on Mole Concept and a year ago, I could probably still skip and be merry but now, I'm just too mentally drained and physically, from all those violent throw of pen and papers and calculator. That is a product of not getting the correct answer for almost every question and convinced that you are really really dumb and thus will not even pass tomorrow's test.

Please please, at least let me pass tomorrow's paper. I don't want to start my first ever test in a college with a freaking F. I don't even think I might get F, I probably get a 0. Oh no, the most probable is I get a -2 because not only will I get ALL the questions wrong, my fugly handwriting will be such a major turn-off for the marker that she'll get major spasms and thus reward me with a -2 instead of an inhumane -5. Huh, the impeccable world I live in.

I've been too lazy to actually do anything productive these days. I only got down to studying yesterday at 7pm after rationalising with myself the whole of yesterday that Saturday afternoon is meant to be a chill-out time and it's too warm that I cannot focus and focus is key, so if I cannot study well, then don't study at all and also, my A levels are not tomorrow and it's not even my MYE, I mean, it's still PAE... so, lets just study later.

I can come up with lame reasons as to why I should study later. And later. And later. Funny thing is, I always convinced myself.

The week will be a really short one and I am really excited for Chinese New Year. Besides the fact, I embrace racial harmony and am always sharing the prosperity and happiness of my fellow friends during this season, I can slack and lepak at home and watch some Chinese movies on Channel 8. Shiok, I tell you.

So, chances are I may not even take this week seriously. But, I will. Just like I will pass my Chem test... I better.

I wish I could bring my hamsters out for a walk.

When Studying Used To Be...

Went to ECP with the usuals yesterday with the sole purpose of attending TK Road Run but after Mr Yusri called to say it was cancelled, we did the next natural thing... lepak at Macs and talk and talk and talk and continue talking for hours. I love it when we catch up with one another cause there are so much juicy news to listen to. Aaah, I love this people soo much.

Anyhoo, to something of lesser love factor. I have a Chemistry test on Monday, followed by Physics on Tuesday and in case you have not noticed, I am the least excited. I have to be honest with you now- I don't think I'm ready for JC life just yet or just maybe, I'm still in the holiday mood. Okay, no. Scrap that.

It's just that Chemistry is getting so effing difficult now and I do not enjoy doing it as much as I did in my Upper Sec years. It's getting onto my nerves with the dilution concept la and oh, if anyone ever tell me that Redox is the easiest peanut, I swear I'll hurt that person in a way you cannot even imagine! Redox is Upper Sec was really though, an insult to one's intelligence, to put it crudely, but JC Redox is really insulting my intelligence cause it makes me realise I am not that intelligent anymore. I have always hated reality checks.

Maybe, I'm exaggerating a bit (like you are that surprised..).Chemistry to a certain degree still give me that 'high' that I get when I'm doing it and it's really more of Maths+Science. I need to get a reference book really soon.

Physics so far has been really good but it's too early to say anything. So, I'm just aiming that I'll pass both tests next week because I have failed my assignment terribly and after not failing anything for a very long time... the feeling sure sucks.

I used to get so excited just thinking of studying for the Chemistry tests we had in TK because I'm always aiming for that A1 and I know even if I screw up, it'll still be A2. And, the whole process of just studying Contact Process la, Haber process la, QA la used to be so... magical.

Lets see if I can do that magic again now.

i am addicted to the love letter goodies